Mrs Wang's Kwangdom - Part 1 STEEMIT ORIGINAL FICTION

"Dinner!" screeched Mrs Wang. A guide dog leading Frank had come through the doors at Mrs Wang's superstore.

"Wewcome to the Kingdom of Mrs Wang. Or as I like to call it the Kwangdom. Normally my suppliers bring more than one dog, but I can take this one off your hands."

"I don't understand Mrs Wang, or whatever you call yourself. I was looking for Asda but we've obviously got off the bus at the wrong stop."

"Nonsense... here you will find an owiental paradise of everyfing that you have ever wanted. You may be blind you can still expewience delicious prawn cwackers on your tongue. We also you have special offer on sweet and sour testicles. Chinese debtors no pay, we slice them up so you have discount snacks."

"We're leaving."

"Exit this way. Here is your twolley. Our store is only wan-way so now you are in you cannot leave until the end. One of my Wangkers wiw assist you until you weach check out."

Bemused and without a choice Frank was given a trolley. Mrs Wang retreated to her office booth and shouted orders.

"The year of the Monkey is wiv us. Our first and only customer of the month has awwived. Donny, you put everyfing in his twolley. Lucky cats, crappy christmas decorations, faulty battewies and don't forget to put in a ShanghaIpad - plus whatever you can find that he no notice."

"But he doesn't want to be here."

"Stop moaning! Me no bring you on boat and smuggle you into country so you can moan moan moan. Me bring you to help make the Kwangdom greatest business enterpwise in entire world!"

"Ok Mrs Wang."

Mrs Wang smiled as Donny her chubby assistant pulled Frank around the superstore.

It was a small warehouse full of plastic things piled high that nobody never wanted, but bought anyway. Every day endless shipping containers would arrive at the docks and Mrs Wang would take delivery of the crap English people would buy, own for a brief period before it sat in landfill for thousands of years.

However, it had been a dead month at the Kwangdom. Railway engineering work had closed the busy main road and customers had to make a 50 minute diversion to get there. Few bothered.

"How do I get out of here?" stumbled Frank

"Do you like egg fried rice?" asked Donny.

"I'll have egg fried brain soon"

"Oh we have some of that. Specially imported from the East - brains of cows, sheep, horses, mashed in with fried egg and rice... I put 10 bags in your trolley."

"I only have two hands and I'm going on the bus."

"No pwoblem Mr Frank. We can do home dewivery on orders over £500."

"I don't have £5 let alone £500."

"No pwoblem Mr Frank - the Kwangdom offers generous lines of credit to our most loyal customers."

"Young man, I have been in many shops but I have never been in one so predatory as this one."

"Mr Frank. Can I tell you secret?"

"No secret recipes I hope."

"No, not that. I don't want to be here either."

"That makes two of us."

"Yes. It's the evil Mrs Wang. She think she the next Alan Sugar - shouting abuse at halfwits, twapping customers and staff in the store, torturing us all until we give her what she wants."

"Oh dear..."

"Yes. Only last night she decides to buy containers of fish guts and says we need to make these into soup for customers of her soup takeway restaurant - The Magic Wang. So we spend all night blending fish guts, taste testing it to see if it's fresh enough. I sleep for one hour, then she shouting at us to be awake to start shift here."

"I see you are in quite a predicament."

"Yes. Please can you help me Mr Frank?"

"Ok you fill my trolley with stuff, we get out of here. You give me a lift the van and then we head to Dover... leave to France and never see this Mrs Wang again."

"Excellent idea Mr Frank - now how many baubles can we fit in here."