Midnight Bloom - a short story - Gmuxx Art Prompt #6

in #fiction7 years ago (edited)

MIDNIGHT BLOOM

“This is a city of orphans. Our whole planet has been orphaned.” Reznor used that word, orphan, repeatedly. He learned it from that thick book titled Dictionary. Of all the relics he recovered from the private bunker, he said that was his favorite.

A different piece resonated with Jacob: a photograph caused a longing for something he’d never known before. Jacob started discovering a lot of new emotions once he abstained from the mandatory vitamins handed out in the breakfast line, but the sensation caused by the picture gripped him most. He couldn’t resolve it.

All Reznor’s adopted orphans could examine the relics from before the age of ruin as they wished. He said it proved there was a different kind of life, one they should work to restore.

“Today’s our day of opportunity. We can’t reach everyone while the city’s held in bondage. Now we remove the masters.” Reznor stood next to his latest find from outside the city walls: a massive cylinder. Supposedly the key to their revolution.

Everyone else in the hidden room had their eyes locked on Reznor. The sensation tugging on Jacob’s chest since he studied that photograph distracted him. His gaze wandered the small crowd and found Sarah.

“If you’re fully committed, today may require your life.”

Jacob realized he’d been studying Sarah’s hair as Reznor spoke. It was short, since everyone’s head in the city is kept bare and she’d only been growing it since going into hiding.

“Sarah.”

“Good morning Jacob.” She smiled, something so foreign away from their secret meetings. The corners of her mouth dropped slightly. “Are you ready for this?”

“Yes.” Jacob was ready to stop being a slave. To stop worrying about Sarah being selected for birthing. The possibility never would have concerned his vitamin-influenced mind. That’s how they survived and grew: the doctors needed women to inject with genetic material so development centers can be filled with children. “More than ever.”

The others started moving about, the room becoming a busy hive. Jacob realized Reznor had ended his speech when the commotion spurred him from distraction.

“I suppose we should--”

Jacob pressed something into Sarah’s hand. “I have another idea.”

She looked at the rigid paper. A photograph showed a group of people, men and women in pairs holding hands or wrapping their arms around each other. There were children next to some and everyone had hair. Their clothing was colorful and diverse.

“Come with me?” Jacob waited for Sarah’s eyes to lift from the photo. She wasn’t smiling, but her gaze was penetrating.


Above ground the sun had started to rise. Jacob walked, ignoring everyone passing by on their way to work, hoping Sarah was close behind. He wasn’t headed to his work assignment to operate the industrial 3d printers used to build the city long ago. It wouldn’t take long before he was missed.

Jacob arrived at the docks where the boats--printed like everything else--were being prepared for a day of collecting kelp and fish. After ten minutes that felt like an hour, Sarah stood beside him wearing a knit cap. “I’ve got what food I could gather.” She put her hand on a small satchel.

“Me too.” Jacob was still studying the activity on the docks. “I’ve got an idea which to take. Just follow my lead.”

He walked to an unattended boat and started picking up supplies stacked on the dock. Sarah helped load the small boxes.

“Those are for my boat.” A man on the neighboring vessel spoke with a flat, matter-of-fact tone then stared at Jacob.

“Let’s go.” Jacob jumped in the boat and Sarah carefully climbed in. Jacob unwound the mooring line and pushed against the dock while the man stared like a statue. They rowed away from the docks and Jacob fumbled with setting the sail when they reached open water.

By the time the sun found its apex he’d figured out how to maintain a steady speed. It wasn’t a mystery why no one gave chase; they were all too doped up on the vitamins to care.

Adrenaline and anxiety suppressed conversation. Jacob never felt responsible for another person in his life. It was up to him where they’d go and he couldn’t be distracted until they were safe. Until Sarah was safe.

Land lay on the horizon. Jacob noticed Sarah watching him operate the boat as the day passed. The sun set and he kept course the best he could in the moonless night.

The smooth glide of the boat was violently interrupted. A loud crash accompanied a fierce heave of the boat, throwing them into the water. It was ice cold, like a thousand needles stabbing his body.

His head broke the surface and he heard the waves crashing into the nearby shore. Pulled back under, he clawed at the water, trying to crawl towards land. His feet hit bottom. He pushed up, breaching the surface and gasping for air.

He turned the struggle into a pattern: crawl through the water, reach the bottom, then leap. Jacob reached the shore, too exhausted to stand. He dragged himself onto the beach and instantly thought of Sarah. His only purpose in this moment was to find her.

He called her name. After the second time, he heard her coughing to his left. Clumsily, like a newborn fawn, he went towards the sound on all fours before collapsing on his face in the sand. His chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath.

The darkness of the night was erased in an instant. The sudden light dimmed to a bearable brightness, revealing a growing dome of light where the city should be. Jacob turned and saw Sarah looking at him.

It felt like forever since the meeting in the orphans’ hall that morning. Jacob started to understand the yearning elicited by the photograph. He felt it in his chest, a pull as strong as gravity or magnetism. It drew him to Sarah, and he reached for her hand.


The wonderful art in this story was painted by @tanglebranch and was selected by @gmuxx for his sixth art prompt writing contest. This is my entry.

This story wouldn't be what it is without the amazing help of the fiction workshop at The Writer's Block. If you're a writer looking to improve your craft, that's the place to be. While you're at it, you might find a community of fun people that make you feel right at home too.

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I like the darkness of the world you created here, and the buildup to the final scene. Nice work!

Thank you. My mind really ran away with it when the idea started to unfold. The word limits really help you focus down to deliver the core of a story. There's a lot about this world that didn't fit into the story, I might want to visit the setting again.

I love this final version, @aksounder. I could really see this being part of a longer work, if it inspires you to continue.

Thank you Jayna! I have the makings of a first chapter forming in my head, so I'll certainly be bouncing ideas around at The Writer's Block.

That was a good story, I could see the guy just looking and looking at the picture in his hand, then seeing the one he wanted to be in a picture with. Taking that first step of cleansing himself from the vitamins, and then sort of rescuing Sarah from the Birthers, yep this could be a full on story, reminds me slightly of "the Handmaids Tale".

Thank you bashadow! After my December series I'll have more time to write fiction again. I might focus on developing a first chapter for this at that time.

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