That was good... a real exercise. While you do use rich vocabulary, I don't think one word was unnecessary. The virtue of enforced lean writing like this is that we cannot indulge our verbally extravagant tendencies. It's almost like we have a wallet with only so much cash. We have to decide whether using that resource nets sufficient reward or if another expenditure would be wiser. I think every "expenditure" here (of space used by words) was wisely decided.
I think this comment may have used more words than your story :)
Ha ha, maybe so... but I appreciate it 🙂 This story is an extended (not very extended though) metaphor for the brutality of life. Everyone can feel drowned sometimes, but it's never as bad as a fly trapped behind the pane of the window.
😆 Upbeat stuff 😉 cheers for the feedback agmoore
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