Very true, @farm-mom. It is best to start them out early, and we did. I don't know if they actually did their own laundry, but they did have their own rooms to clean and other household chores to take care of.

The issue in these gatherings has not been them as much as it is their wives. They are both very good people, but the idea of helping out when someone else is doing something seems to be lost on them, even when they're asked politely to do so.

I've been chalking it up to maturity, and I still believe that's true, but in the case of one, her parents never made her or her sibling do anything around the house growing up, so if there's anyone else to do something, including the son that's married to her, then she will automatically defer. She's gotten better at it, but she's still far from ever offering to help, let alone doing it.

The other one is better at many things, but is prone to mood swings and so she might be willing to help one moment, and then the next disappear to some other part of the house in a huff.

Anyway. As you say. The joys of parenting. :)