Why I Became a Feminist (and Why You Don't Have To)
I used to ridicule all those who call themselves feminists. This is a story of how I was pulled over to the dark side. Don't worry, that's not the only Star Wars reference.
Throughout this article I will be speaking in generalities. I understand that the things I say are not representative of all feminists. I’m merely trying to give a picture of my experience with these groups.
Don’t be like that ^
You’re better than that.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get down to business.
Why I Resisted
I have never, ever met a group of people as full of hatred and judgement, as rude and frankly sexist as third wave feminists. These people are so aggressive to those who disagree with them. They are insensitive toward others to the extreme yet they consider their own abundance sensitivities to be of the highest importance. You do not want to transgress against their sensitivities. Even the smallest disagreement can be considered a “microaggression” and they will treat the aggressor as if he is a representative of the very worst of humanity.
Sorry, was that sexist of me to assume the aggressor is a “he”?
Their ability to get offended by absolutely everything is tied to their absolutist view of feminism. To quote a mediocre Star Wars movie, “If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy.” If you don’t agree with their particular brand of feminism and everything that comes with it, you are not a feminist.
“Oh, you’re a Christian? You can’t be a feminist.”
“Oh, you don’t believe in abortion? You can’t be a feminist.”
“Oh, you’re against affirmative action? You can’t be a feminist.”
You are a sexist pig.
You are the enemy.
The oversensitivity of modern feminists combined with their categorization of nearly everybody else as an enemy and an oppressor creates a victim culture. It’s gotten to the point where victimhood has almost become currency. If Lily can prove she’s more of a victim than Isabelle, she can use her victim status to buy importance. Now her opinions will be more valued and her sensitivities will be more respected.
Finally, one of the biggest roadblocks in my journey to embracing the label was the fact that nearly all modern feminists believe in government. And they believe it with a fiery vigor unmatched by most other groups.
They believe in using the violent force of government to quash any dissent and as an anarchist this is abhorrent to me. They want to force “bigots” to interact and trade with those they disagree with. They want to ban “offensive speech.” And like good leftists, they want to make sure they’re coddled and taken care of by all of the social welfare programs they can think of.
I expected to see at least a few articles on this site tagged feminism, feminist or some variation on that term, but all I had to do was type in the three letters “fem” into the Tags and Topics search bar for the results to be narrowed down to… nothing. It would appear as if the Steemit community isn’t exactly full of feminists. I would even hazard a guess that many of you on this site hold moderate to strong anti-feminist views, views that are popular among libertarians and anarchists.
So let me just say, I understand. We probably have a mutual understanding: I understand the objections to feminism and you understand why I resisted. But you may not understand why I changed, well…
Why I Finally "Converted"
My conversion can be linked to two main sources. First, I saw a serious lack of female representation in movies and television. This is something I never really noticed or thought of until I came across some truly wonderful feminist work in the media.
Joss Whedon and his shows Dollhouse and more significantly Buffy the Vampire Slayer were enormously important in my journey. Even watching the Avengers I was struck by the way Joss was able to take an eye-candy action heroine from Iron Man 2 named Black Widow and turn her into the most interesting character in the movie. Of course, many feminists hated the way he handled the character in Age of Ultron (I don’t) but that’s a subject for another day. Maybe another blog post? Writes note to self…
Another example from the Marvel Universe is Jessica Jones. That show addressed a real need for great female heroes while also touching on many important feminist themes like gender power dynamics, consent and rape.
On top of all of this I’ve been so struck by the entire male backlash against the inclusion of female characters I see on forums. Many are treating it as if it’s the ultimate travesty the Star Wars franchise now has two movies with female leads after six male-led films.
Second, in my day-to-day life I’ve started to really see the differences in the ways that men and women are treated. It may be because I’m married now and see a lot more of what my wife experiences.
I’ve seen her opinions get struck down by a sickeningly sweet and condescending, “oh sweetheart…” followed by an explanation of how she’s just so naïve.
I’ve seen people challenge her for wanting to have a career before having children.
I’ve seen her struggle against self-consciousness because of a culture that’s shaped her to value her looks above all else.
I don’t believe women in the west are “oppressed.” I think men and women face their own unique problems and challenges. But as far as I can tell there is still a lot more of progress to be made with women. You disagree? Well there’s more…
Why I Still Understand Those Who Reject the Label
Look, life is incredibly nuanced. Unlike many other feminists, I try not to see the world as “us vs. them.” There are a million reasons why somebody may reject a label.
1. I don’t have a full picture of the world. I’m only judging based on what I’ve seen, read and experienced. Somebody else has had completely different experiences that have shaped their views.
2. There is still so much vitriol spewed from feminists. I completely understand why someone wouldn’t want to have anything to do with that.
3. It’s just a stupid label. I understand why somebody wouldn’t want to marginalized by the confines of a label.
Unlike many feminists, I will not attack you for rejecting the label. It’s just a label.
I’m ready for you Comments Section: say I’m mistaken, call me uneducated, call me a moron, call me a “cuck”. But hopefully we can have some intelligent conversation too.
~Seth
All art was done by me exclusively for this Steemit post, with the exception of the "We Can Do It" poster and the "Triggered" meme... obviously.
Reading this...i started humming
I adore this song.
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You can't possibly make this claim. There are as many women as men in the movies. I think you needed a label to belong.
There is no need to call ourselves anything really. Why associate yourself with people that might misrepresent you? Be your own -ism
Perhaps "lack of representation" was too broad a statement. TV does a much better job with diversity and representation than movies. Representation varies from genre to genre and you can't deny that women are underrepresented in certain genres. I'll give the example of comic-book movies. Yes, comics have traditionally been geared toward men but now the audience is split almost 50/50 between men and women.
Honestly, I wasn't in need of a label and I totally agree with the sentiment that there is no need to call ourselves anything. I just got tired of fighting those who argued that if I believe in equality I should be a feminist. It's easier for me to say I'm a feminist and then give my list of qualifiers I guess.
It's an interesting study. The word carries too much baggage for me, mostly because of what you describe at first - the insanely aggressive feminist. But there was also a movement where feminists were claiming to be the same as men, which is just asinine. Both sexes have complementary strengths and weaknesses.
And that's the angle I come from. There are certain things that men excel at and others that women do. Sometimes one or the other advance in skill in an area not typically of their gender, but it's unimportant in most cases. As a whole, typical distinctions or differences in strengths and weaknesses should be viewed as complementary. When we do so, we look to each other to help us become more than we could ever be alone.
This is so true. So many feminists completely ignore and even deny that there are differences between the sexes. Science tells us otherwise. @bravetheworld did a great piece on some of the differences between men and women.
I think the feminist movement is embarrassing to modern society. How women have to deliberatly force their freedoms on others might an indication of a society of women who were so oppressed by the patriarchy, this may very well be a backlash. A terrible backlash, but it is.
My views on women for context? I celebrate women because they are women and individual human beings. They are women and therefore, have super powers I do not possess, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. I think I'd be better off ensuring a woman has her freedoms at all times to be her true-self, not some terrible idea of what a woman should be like in 2016. Be yourself. Stop listening to feminists, they need love, not the ability to influence your mind.
Also, my understanding is that the moon controls the tides and water to a degree. We are affected by the moon and the moon cycles due to the fact that the majority of our physical being is made up of water. And the moon is feminine, so feminists, chill. You got the moon, and it's beautiful.
I have no problem with strong women they are actually preferable for me. I married a strong woman while all of my friends married the soft, agreeable types which I have no problem with either. My problem is that I get bored with agreeable people.
The violent feminists make no sense to me. I would prefer if they disappeared like every type of violent person.
Loved the Marvel reference.
