Well, I haven't decided on anything either way, nor have I ever claimed to. Personally, it's not that I feel under siege. It's a question that isn't particularly important to me. I have never felt any compulsion to have children, but I'm not disgusted by it either. It's an emotion that doesn't feel natural to me. My mother was the same way. She openly admits to me that I was an accident after she had made the conscious choice not to have children, but it was very late in life for her and really her last chance, so she made the last minute decision to go through with her pregnancy. She will readily say that it was a huge life change and one that came with many sacrifices, but that she's thankful that I am in her life and she loves me very much. I don't take offense to that stance, particularly at this age; I completely understand. I don't expect of my mother that I would have been this emotionally profound miracle that filled her with joy when she found out that she suddenly had to make a choice to have a baby or not. This post is a more general criticism of a phenomenon I've observed not only in my own interactions with people but also with others. It can be very hurtful because not all women are capable of having children and it can be emotionally harmful to imply that there is something wrong with not having them when you don't know a person's circumstances or innermost feelings. I write a fair amount about feminism and how I see our interactions as women, and I see this as a feminist issue--the assumption that women must have children or else they are somehow incomplete.

I have contemplated the thought many times and wondered why I don't feel compelled by either stance, but I also know that thought has been amplified by people telling me that I need to make a choice, when I still have at least a decade to do so. The point for me is that having a baby or not, whether by adoption or by physically giving birth, will not make me more or less of a woman, but it would change my life profoundly. Maybe I will feel more resolute in my opinions about whether or not it's something for me later on, but it's also rude of others to tell me that I absolutely will go through that when they simply don't know my circumstances and I never asked them for their advice about my womb. And of course this is partially influenced by my own mother's stance on womanhood and the feminist ideals that she raised me with, and that I've never had the pressure from my family that many women experienced. It's always been made clear to me from the very beginning that it's my decision. I just wish that other women didn't have a society around them that was trying to make the decision for them or else make them feel bad about it.

Anyway, thank you so much for your thoughtful comment :)