If A Social Worker Interviews You
As many of you know, we are in the middle of being investigated by CPS.
My husband and I disagreed on how to handle things when a social worker and police officer graced our front door. After arguing back and forth about it, we settled on cooperating with them seeing that my husband is on probation.
Giving you updates on how this whole process plays out is bittersweet. On the bitter end, I wish this wasn't happening. We should've been left alone. Yes, we were having problems, but they would've worked out in time. This whole investigation has caused much fear and stress, and this whole situation is oppressive.
On the positive side, Steemit has given me an outlet for venting about this unfair intrusion into our lives, and the support is much appreciated. I also feel like by going through this, I can give valuable information firsthand from the perspective of someone who is subjected to this. It's like therapy, and I thank you all.
Just remember, it can happen to anyone.
It can happen to you. Imagine if all your flaws and weaknesses were used against you? You may be considered a perfect parent now, but just wait until CPS gets a hold of you. Accidents happen... Your child might make a comment that would alarm someone... You might get sick. It happens everyday! No one is immune...
The ideal and safest option when CPS comes around, is for them not to get past the front door. You don't have to let them in without a court order. I have already touched on what they will ask the kids if they are allowed to come in and question everybody with this article , but I haven't expounded on the initial interview with us, the parents. Every situation would be different, depending on the accusations, but you can still expect to be asked many of these questions.
I hope in reading them, you'll be better prepared.
- Do you know why we're here?
- Do you have any idea who would've called on you?
- How is your children's health?
- How is your health?
- Are your children on any medications?
- (To Jared) Are you suicidal?
- (To Jared) When did you get depressed?
- (To me) Where did you get your GED?
- When was the last time you worked?
- What did you do for a living?
- Do you take any medications?
- What do you do for discipline?
- Can I see their schoolwork?
- When did you start homeschooling?
- Do you smoke marijuana (asked us twice)?
- (To Jared) How often do you take her pills?
- Can I see the bottle of medication?
- Do you drink?
- What do you drink?
- How often do you drink?
- (To Jared) What do you think triggered your depression?
- Have you seen a professional?
- How is your stress level?
- If you were to take a urinalysis, what would show up?
- Are you going to join any co-ops or homeschooling groups?
- Do you go to church?
- How are you getting by without a job?
- Do you get foodshare?
- (To me) Have you always lived in this area?
- Are there any other concerns?
Like the last one? Are there any other concerns?? Yes, because you are so benevolent and you care so much. I would be really surprised if I got another visit today, that would be four days in a row, but I wouldn't put it past them... Like my mother-in-law said, "What did your mom think would happen? That they were just going to come in, wave their magic wand, and make everything better?"
Um, yeah, that's not happening...
Love, snowpea ❤
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It's like they all have the same "training"...oh, wait...
What difference does it make where you got your GED?
And, boy, how they LOVE to come after us homeschoolers. And asking "do you go to church?" That question alone is convoluted, no matter the answer. Any answer to many of these questions will be perceived as negative, and will be used against you. I posed the question recently that "case workers are constantly bitching about having to big a caseload, and how they're too under staffed, and underfunded to handle all their cases, so why do they continue to add to their workload, by harassing those of us for whom they have to "build" a case, as we're innocent of charges, rather than focusing their manpower and resources on obvious open-and-shut cases? Hmmm.. Seems to me, they stand to lose something they hope to gain. Wonder what it could be.. (hint: $)
I think the purpose of the pointless questions was to make us feel at ease, like they were just making conversation or something. Pretty sure the church question was to gauge how much support we have, the less support, the easier the target...
You know, I never thought about it before but you're right. They are stretched so thin, yet they waste their time on us. SMH
I think that they want to know what church or groups you attend and where else you used to live, so that they have a list of people that they can go to to fish for more dirt on you.
That's what they did with my friend, Anna. They talked to all her neighbours and even had her neighbours spying on her and reporting back to them.
I hope that you didn't give them too much information.
They dig that deep?? Oh goodness...I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but ever since Jared's depression, we've been hermits, so there really is no one to point them to. We haven't been to church since December, and the only place I really go is the grocery store, other than that I take the kids outside sometimes. It's just where we're at right now...
I think it may be a good thing. Did you give them the name of the church that you used to attend? Hopefully it wasn't too mainstream of a church where they all love the government and cooperate without thinking of the consequences.
They may or may not decide to dig that deep with your case, but it is certainly one of the tactics that they have used to sucessfully get children away from their parents.
They did ask the name of the church too...it's just a little bible church, and I doubt anyone there would have anything bad to say about us...
Wow, that is a lot of questions to ask you guys. So crazy that they asked you about your concerns!! I am glad you are able to vent on Steemit, but it's so sad that you're going through it.
I know, just the way she said it... I think she just knew that she didn't have enough damning information, so she was searching for more.
They are fishing. You have already bitten more than necessary, by offering incriminatory information that can be used against you.
Spit that hook, and don't bite anymore.
I would not again speak to them without counsel present. I hope no action is taken against you based on the damage they can already do to your family. Just don't give them anymore ammunition.
I went down all the avenues to try and find a lawyer, I can't afford one, and I couldn't find one who would work pro-bono. Other than that I joined the HSLDA, but the lawyer I talked to basically said it was too late. I already let them in, and they already have enough to hang us on, based on their standards...we are at their mercy now.
Things can always get worse, so do the best you can do from here. That's all you can do. Beg mercy for your sins if they become a factor, and sin no more, is the best advice I can offer there.
Don't limit counsel to Pro Bono, but seek continually. I went through 5 lawyers at one point, until I found the right one. She took payments of $100/mth for two years. Did a great job, because she believed in me.
Keep looking until you find the right one.
This is more than a little terrifying to me.
Not because I am easily intimidated by state enforced monkey's (not a damn chance) but because we all know that many people operate under the assumption...
There's no smoke without fire...
We know that these bullies will bring enough smoke and fire to go around and sufficiently besmirch your previously good reputation.
is there anything worse to be assumed to be guilty of than child abuse?
I class myself as a great Dad and my partner is an exceptional Mother but I wonder how long that perception would hold up with our friends and neighbours once the visits began? There are lines that should never be crossed. Intimations that should never be voiced and assumptions that should never EVER be made. All of us in the eyes of such agencies and institutions are presumed guilty until proven innocent, do any of us doubt this nowadays?
I don't believe the perfect family has ever or indeed will ever exist. Much of parenting is trial and error a good friend of mine @father2b has an amazing parenting blog that deals with this assumption perfectly in many of his posts. We all know we are not handed a manual on how to be an awesome parent 5 minutes after our children enter the world and if we were there would be at least 5 chapters on indoctrination A.K.A the education system where our children are taken from us under rule of law and programmed to be
a great producera host for the parasitic state.I read your post with empathetic eyes and would be horrified if this were happening to me and I hope you reach the right conclusion quickly so as to minimise the disruption to your entire family. I hope initiatives like @familyprotection have resources that can help this process along for you. I suspect as that community grows and becomes more active this will be the case for many people being unfairly and unethically treated!
Many of the questions that they ask are far from relevant and are intended as individual scraps of information that can be woven together to make a very different story than the actuality that truly exists.
Take good care of you and yours from me and mine, thoughts are most certainly with you :D
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment! It's so true that we are guilty until proven innocent, and we've even been trained to wonder to ourselves what did the parents do? when someone's children get taken away. There is so much ignorance and even approval when it comes to CPS and other agencies, and there's so much propaganda out there about how wonderful they are...
It pretty much happens overnight. Some of my neighbors are already giving me the evil eye, and I'm getting less likes on Facebook. Granted some people I've recently blocked for their involvement in setting me up, or their association with the people responsible for this...I belive it was my mom, but my stepdad said it was my grandparents - who haven't seen me in years and live 1000 miles away... and then they were still liking my posts as if nothing was wrong...
I hate the way people network too. Everyone knows everyone else's business, even complete strangers, it's aggravating how people gossip. I dated someone whose best friend is a social worker - this was a couple years ago when my husband and I were separated, and I know first hand from what she told him that there is no confidentiality when CPS is involved, they can talk about us to anyone they want. This same social worker is now the one investigating us, which I think is a conflict of interest, but I'm afraid if I speak up and say something, they will appoint someone worse...
@familyprotection has been immensely supportive, and they have even gave me a donation that enabled me to join the HSLDA. I don't know what I would do without them and the other amazing people here on Steemit!
Thanks again @stevenwood! Much love. :)
Such an ordeal, @snowpea. And they're so nosey and intrusive? I can only imagine what a horrible time this is for you and your family. My thoughts are with you :(