It is true what you say the main thing is that they feel safe, feel the hugs, affection, mimes and kisses make them feel calmer. Little by little, with patience and care, without neglecting them, it will be a perfect match. The child or the girl should feel in confidence also with the rest of the family, everything will flow positively, there should be a lot of dialogue so that there is more empathy between mom and dad and son or daughter Blessings friend @pastorbastida.