My Brother Paul

We had a happy childhood with a Mum and Dad in a bought brick house. In our neighbourhood all the parents knew each other so there was little we could get away with! Our Paul was more adventurous than me even from being small. Like the day he found Mums Iron tablets "Arkid I know where there are some smarties" so he showed me these "smarties" and he had quite a few of them - I didn't as they were in a cupboard that we weren't supposed to go in. Mum was worried about Paul after I had told her about the Smarties, and hauls us both to the doctors. The doctor just said that Paul would have a little more energy than usual! Or the day he swallowed a marble that Mum had to keep checking for. The day we were playing Tarzen and Jane in our bedroom was a good one too as Paul jumped off the top bunk holding the lamp shade, doing the Tarzen cry which quickly turned to "Help me Arkid Help me" as his hands were slipping down the shade. his legs were moving so much I couldn't get him and he fell on to the chest of draws and cut his inner thigh. That was a trip to the hospital - one of many more to come!

One day Paul went out with his mate and they could only have been 7ish, to play on a car park of the local factory. They saw a waggon parked up, then found a length of rope. They proceeded to tie the waggon to the fence with the rope. They were back home eating tea when the waggon driver discovered he wasn't moving anywhere quickly - who gave it some more power and the fence came with him. . . . luckily the fence was a wooden one and was due to be taken down so Dad and his friends Dad only had to move the wood.

The day he went over his handle bars and killed the nerve in his front tooth was another.

This pattern carried on through out his childhood so we were hoping that when he left school and started work that things would go a little smoother.. Paul started work on and apprenticeship doing Joinery.

Now some weeks everything would go fine . . . then there were a few incidents worth mentioning. The day he hit himself in the head with a hammer - it was the round end that hit him and he was hammering a nail! One massive lump with the imprint of the hammer was his wound this time.
Then there was the Porta loo incident where at dinner Paul went to the porta loo and it was lifted up into the air as they were being collected. "Put me down Put me Down" he was shouting whilst all on site thought it was hilarious and just carried on laughing.
The best one was the day of the airing cupboard where Paul was putting the slats in an airing cupboard in a house. Paul stood inside the cupboard and worked his way backwards - effectively imprisoning himself in there. His boss rang Mum to tell her what had happened and he couldn't stop laughing - he had left Paul in there to work his way out ! Paul did put the slats back in the correct way and made a lovely job of them too.

The day at the races where a load of the lads from the local went o the races starting early and ending late with everyone three sheets to the wind and we say - very drunk! A few lads not in their group decided to start a brawl - this spilled outside and Paul had a bottle in his hand. Paul tripped up with the bottle still in his hand and practically chopped his thumb off. An accident that needed more than a few stitches and left a large scar.

Life carried on and Paul settled down, bought a house with his other half then they had his Son. For years it seems like he had finally broke the routine of hospital visits, what we didn't know was the state of his mind.
Some where along his life path Paul lost his zest for life. He was drinking heavily in the house, not seeing his friends. Only spending a couple of hours a fortnight with Mum. We could tell he was unhappy, but he wouldn't talk - many men just don't talk about the things that need talking about. I don't know why.

Now Paul is not here with us on Earth. We shall never see his cheeky smile or hear his amazing laugh. We shall never talk about the footie or hear how work was.

We now know he was poorly and we know that he hid it well. It was his choice and we respect that.
I still Love my Kid Brother, I still talk to him - sometimes I sense him around me.
if there is a man in your life that you think is acting a little out of the ordinary, ask them what is wrong - keep probing until you get them to relax and talk to you. I wish I had probed more with my Brother Paul xxxxx