Are we to strict as a parent?
Source
Our oldest son wanted to go to a summerparty in Vorden tonight, Vorden is about 8 km from our city.
It's a small village where there is a 3-day summerparty every year. It's a nice party and some friends asked him if he wanted to come.
I think it's great if he is having a good time with friends but we do have some rules:
- There will be no alcohol (he is 14, and it's illegal in Holland but I know at partys bartenders aren't that straight)
- When there is a fight between folks you walk away and are not going to watch in interfere
- If it's late at night I pick him up, there is no cycling on the streets at night
- Mobile full charged in case he needs to call us
The great thing is that he is a responsible kid so I really don't have any worries. Tonight he asked us if I could take his friends with us to bring them home. No problem of course, but one of his friends had his bike somewhere else. So I had to drop him of at his bike and he had to cycle for some to get home. For me that didn't feel right because (although it is not my son) I am not fond of cycling late at night for a 14 years old. So I ask them (by whatsapp) if his parent were ok with it. The answers I got were a bit avoiding, like "Ow, it is only two minutes" and "no problem for me", but it didn't felt right. So I asked if his parents were ok with it...... A long silence and then finally "Yeah, you can drop me of at my house and I wil pick up the bicycle tomorrow"... So I think he realized that his parents probably weren't cool with it.. :)
So at first I thought that it was us, that we made to big of a deal of cycling at night... But then again, I talked with my wife.. And he is only 14, no age to be alone on the street at night...
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing him having fun, but I just want to look out for him while he still is this young.. But we're glad he thinks the same and doesn't have a problem with it at all so... all cool :)
Have a great night
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Wat ook wel meespeelt is dat je weet wat je aan je eigen kind hebt. Helaas heb je geen invloed op wat andere mensen doen. Wij zijn ook erg van het ophalen wanneer het nachtwerk wordt.
Meestal lopen ze niet in zeven sloten tegelijk en je wilt ze beetje bij beetje hun weg leren vinden. Om ze gelijk helemaal los te laten lijkt mij niet zo'n goed plan tegenwoordig.
Je bent niet te streng, je bent een zorgzame ouder.
precies, ik probeer ze zo goed mogelijk te ondersteunen in het zelf wegwijs worden... En vandaag de dag idd direct los laten lijkt me zeker geen goed plan.
Dank je wel !!
It's a fine line to walk, Peter! What I feel from your post is the sense of danger in the urban western world. Glad to feel less of that here in Thailand. You're doing a great parenting job!! :)
Well thank you :) The thing is that we are trying to let them free as much as possible but thout between certain bounderies. And indeed last few years things changed a lot with danger and agressive people... unfortunatly...
I don't see this as been strict just normal precautions to avoid stories that touch
I do see it that way too :) thank you !!
Peter groot gelijk die regels hanteren wij ook! gister las ik in de krant van dat meisje in Rotterdam .... het uitgaan van de oudste twee is wel een ding moet ik bekennen
Ja dat geloof ik. Nu zitten wij (gelukkig)wat dat betreft niet in de grootste boze stad, maar toch :)
Maar je hoort zulke rare dingen nu hier weer die vermiste jongen ..... hoop dat alles ok is maar inzet van honden uit nl is denk ik slecht nieuws
Ik hoorde het inderdaad, als hij al een paar dagen niet meer gezien is en zijn telefoon en bankpas worden/zijn niet gebruikt is het op z'n minst een vreemd verhaal. En inderdaad de speurhonden voorspellen dan ook niet veel goeds...
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