The Wonderful Mess that is Marriage

For many the goal of dating is to find love and eventually settle down for marriage, but something people often dont realize is that the magic of finding love fades, and being married is actually very hard work.

Now im not saying this to scare anyone who is thinking of getting married. Its truly one of the most wonderful feelings any person can have. When you get married, its basically a promise to give your spouse the best and most intimate part of yourself, all your secrets and quirks included. Its a promise to love them and only them for the rest of your life. It can be a truly beautiful thing to become so comfortable and close to one single person. To be able to give someone the most vulnerable parts of yourself can be truly magical and also liberating, being able to share fears and personal life goals with one another and helping each other grow as people can be very rewarding.

That being said, it can also be very difficult. No relationship is perfect, and eventually you will have fights. How you deal with dissagreement is essential for any long term relationship or marriage to work. Sometimes you have to sit down and have the talks that we as people tend to avoid, talks about emotions. That is never an easy conversation to have, but along the line after the thrill of finding new love fades, certain emotions come to play. For example things like why doesnt he or she do this for me anymore, or the im getting bored senario, and these sort of emotions are dangerous to harbour inside for to long, because they can make someone feel unimportant or inadequate and cause strain on a relationship or marriage. Its important to talk to your spouse or significant other about these things so problems can be fixed, instead of eventually exploding from the pressure of holding in these emotions.

Marriage can also be exhausting. I say that in the most loving way possible. As you begin to live with someone and and develope a routine. This routine can become repetitive on a day to day basis, so its also important to be able to set time aside from busy day to day life and find time to be adventurous or silly with your spouse. Whether its just sitting down and watching movies and eating junk, or taking them on a fancy date sitting down with your significant other and giving them part of your attention and time is important. It lets them know that they are still worth your effort and attention.

There are good days and there are bad days. The number of good days always win out the bad ones and I wouldnt trade my spouse for anything. Its important to love your sometimes messy life together. Keep loving! Keep trying! Its hard but entirely worth it.

Sincerely, two exhausted parents.
@nightshift1134