Be virtuous! Not desperate

Life is a question that we all need to sit down with ourselves and ask ourselves because i know the answers are always right before us.

I know many will desire or plan to be engaged or get married one day, yes it is good but before you finalize that decision, you have to quickly do some check up on yourself please.

First thing first, how's your relationship with God? Are you the type that thinks the only time to get close to God is when marriage is in view?

"Please come, and let's reason together, implores the Lord", Isaiah 1:18A (ISV)

When people, couples or families come together to talk, straighten out differences, and make future plans/events, they make union stronger by the responsibilities they get during the course of the meeting.

In a relationship, meeting regularly will not only make the union stronger, but will make the bond become unbreakable. If Daddy can tell the family his occurrences at the office so that the family contributes and pray over it; or individual state their challenges and through the presence of the Ministering Spirits (Heb 1:14) get the matters tackled.

Silence over issues may lead to unfounded assumptions or wrong decisions because you didn't take out time to engage your spouse or partner in conversation. You just concluded on your own or third party side of the story. This has wreck many relationship. Make it a duty today to have a 'Let's Talk' with him/her or the family; by this your love will be strengthened.

Let's get this straight; to have it right this year not even about marriage alone, you need to get your relationship with God right. I am not saying be a worker in church or look like a Christian nor bear a Christian name, I mean giving your heart/life to God. Don't forget, when you place your heart in the hands of God, He will place it in the hand of the right person at the right time, be found in God.

Secondly, what is your vision statement, have you discovered purpose? A man/woman of vision attracts same, don't just stay idle waiting for the right one, get busy fulfilling purpose in God too. Serve God this year genuinely and not because of a partner and don't forget that not everyone in church is good for you neither is everyone in church a Christian, so switch off your searching WiFi and concentrate on God.

Next to that is character, a very important part. You're too hostile, always moody, respect is an issue, even the smallest courtesy is far from you, it is not love alone that can keep a relationship or get you a spouse, character does too. When it comes to choosing a husband or wife, one thing after God that really, truly matters is: character!

It also has to do with your choice of words, what do you say or how do you relate with people in words, it also has to do with being a home keeper/builder as a woman, how much of a wife are you? It is important to know how to cook and keep the home as a woman which does not mean men shouldn't know that too. I won't write more on this for now.

The last thing for today is patience; you do not need to rush yourself into something you are not physically, emotionally, financially and even spiritually ready for. Do not forget that your timing is different from the person next to you. Many promising courtship are destroyed for lack of intelligent foresight, misplaced ideology about male/female sexuality, and abuse of human intimacy.

Never rush into a relationship so that you won't rush out of it. Don't rush anything, when the time is right, it'll happen, don't forget you may be delayed so that you can work on yourself. As the saying goes, "If it's meant to be, it'll be!!" He hath made everything beautiful in his time (Ecc.3:11). All you need do is to allow God lead you, it may not be easy when it seems like it's getting late but be rest assured that you will get there with Jesus on your side.

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies, Proverbs 31:10.

Being virtuous means full of virtue and having excellent moral character. Desperation might lead you to marriage and you might end up in divorce. Being desperate can make you settle for anything less. It can lead you to a marriage without peace of mind. Many are desperate to get marriage because of age, money, fame etc. Often, marriages entered desperately don't always last.

On the other hand, it is when you are virtuous that you can attract the right partner without 'selling your body'. It is your moral character together with God that can sustain your marriage.

Therefore, don't be desperate, be virtuous and keep serving God the author of Marriage, he will connect you to the right partner, and you both will have a blissful marriage on earth and at the same time achieve your divine purpose.

Whosoever commits sin transgresses also the law; for sin is the transgression of the law", 1 John 3:4.

God in His infinite love and mercies gave us His word to help us farewell in life. But when man disobeyed, sin came into being. Of all sins, sexual immoralities are one of the most dreadful. They include: premarital sex, adultery, pornography, masturbation, lesbianism, homosexuality, rape, incest, nude picture sharing, kissing when you're not married and others.

As a single or married person, are you breaking the laws of sexual purity in your relationship? Sexual sins are harmful because they'll damage your soul and defile your body that belongs to God (1 Cor. 6:18-20). Are you using your body to glorify Him or dishonor Him? It was partly through fornication Esau lost his birthright. "Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright." Hebrews 12:16

All sins have the same eternal consequence before God, but in addition; sexual sins not only opens up your life for invasion of guilt, condemnation and destruction but also physical, medical, emotional, spiritual and psychologically trauma. You need to repent if you are guilty of any sexual sins. God is able to forgive your sexual sins if you confess and forsake them (Prov. 28:13). All you need do is to admit that you have sinned. Confess, forsake them and plead for His forgiveness. Also believe that you have been forgiven.

"A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven." John 3:27.

It's not bad when she is richer. Whoever we are; God made us all, irrespective of the gender. Though our society sometimes frowns at the female being richer. This also brings a sense of insecurity and threat in some men. Some men feel intimidated to propose or marry such ladies.

There are cases of husbands who don't support their spouse's vision, business or career so that she won't outgrow them. While some men are gold digger, their mission is to ruin such ladies. This shouldn't be. That she is richer is for a purpose.

Your divine role as a lady is to be a suitable help meet to him. God said "I will make him a help meet for him. Genesis 2:18. Now if both of you see yourselves in the light of this and as partners in purpose and progress, there will be no problem.

That she is richer is to help both of you fulfill God's purpose for each other through her affluence, influence, networks and wealth in submission to God and her husband. This shouldn't lead to pride or disrespect to the husband. Also, the husband shouldn't be envious or jealous of her. There are ladies God has used to raise their husband to who they are today. Dear lady, God can use you for him if you are richer.