How to Mend a Family Feud
Forgive and Forget
One of the main reasons a family feud lasts so long comes from the fact that many people hold grudges. Although you may feel angry over the actions of a person, you need to let it go and move on. Your grudge not only keeps the family apart, but also causes you unnecessary pain. Family feuds can end up lasting for many months or years due to the inability of a family member to let go of his anger. When you choose to let a grudge go, you can start working on bringing the family back together. This not only brings you relief, but also eases the burden placed on other family members.
Make the First Move
If you wait for other family members to mend a feud, you may end up waiting forever. Be the bigger person and reach out to the other parties involved in the feud. Let them know you see their side and want to work on mending things. If you committed the offense, own up to it and apologize. Tell the family members involved how much you love them and regret your part in the family quarrel. You'll want to make the point of how life's short and you never know how long you'll each be around. Since life's so uncertain, you don't want to hold onto grudges.
Get to the Heart of the Matter
Unfortunately, many family disagreements stem from issues involving money. A loan may have gone unpaid or a bad investment was made by a family member. Although money plays an important role in our lives, it should not outweigh the importance of family. You don't have to let a person take advantage of you financially, but you can still have a relationship with them that does not involve money. You may also benefit from the intervention of a family therapist. Rely on an unbiased counselor to help you resolve your issues with one another.
Time May Heal All Wounds
Your family feud may not resolve itself overnight. Although you may be able to forgive and move on, the other parties involved may not feel the same way. Remedy this situation by giving the person her space and then trying to contact her again. She may shy away from your attempts at fixing things, but you'll never know when she may come around and feel a willingness to work things out.
I agree with everything written about family feuds. I'd like to add that depending on the circumstances; it is sometimes appropriate (and healthy) to let go of certain relationships after you've tried your hardest to work on them. Cancer has taught me to let go of a few toxic people; family and friends. Our bodies need the energy from positive people, not the hurtful people. If a family member or friend does not have it in them to let go of the past and continues to treat us with disrespect; it is okay to let go of the relationship. Partiularly if you know that you tried your hardest to forgive and were accountable for your part. Simply because we became family through marriage or were born into a family, it does not mean that we have to love them. Respect yes, but it has to be reciprocal. Have a wonderful day everyone. May you all get the respect that you deserve!
Thank you so much for this comment. I sometimes feel bad because I have decided to let go of the relationship with my father but as you stated when you are repeatedly disrespected it makes sense to let it go. I do disagree with your statement of not having to love your family. God requires us to love others because he has loved us, in spite of ourselves. I do however agree with the notion of loving people from a distance. With some people that is just how it has to be. Life is too short for hurtful relationships.
I pray that God blesses you in a way that only he can as you conquer your cancer. So here's to 2017 and a toxic-free life!!!
It is not so much do unto others as you would have them do unto you - as much as it is : do NOT do unto others as you would have them NOT do unto you. Anyone can blame, so from another's perspective, anyone can be at fault. Get to a place where you can appreciate the other's point of view, which should not be too hard IF YOU REALLY TRY and remember, family (our nuclear families) are for life and should ALWAYS be priority. I'm sorry to say, but ESPECIALLY if you have a terminal illness, you need to FORGIVE AND FORGET. Life is too short. Don't make someone else feel responsible for your health (or lack thereof) - use this time to ammend broken relationships and be at peace.