I kinda knew I loved my father, we had only rare phone calls but that is something in our family : we are not closed in space, but always loving each others...The day he died 5 years ago, I knew with certainty my life would never be the same as I would never see him again...that's odd, I rarely saw him so it should not make a big difference, but in fact it makes all the difference, because you can choose to meet or not meet, and one day you have no more chance nor opportunities to see him...and then I knew I love him so much that I had to put some distance between him and the worry I had for him...
Now I'm sort of at peace with that, even if it took long, I can still love him and not worry about him, feeling deeply he is in peace and feeling its presence with me when I need it 😊
Thank you for your comment Barbara :)
It sounds like my relationship with my father was similar to yours, for the most part at least.
It is really strange, being able to pick up the phone at any time to talk to someone, and then never having that opportunity again. Something taken for granted until it is gone.
Thanks again, have a lovely weekend :)