Why not pretend to be nice?
When people pretend to be nice they often are accused of being "fake" once they get "exposed". The question is whether it is more ethical to pretend to be nice yet risk being exposed as fake or be mean but real? Do people really care about the difference between fake and real more than how they are being treated?
What would you prefer? Someone who pretends to be nice to you but who really doesn't think very highly like you like how they are treating you? Or someone who treats you exactly how they think of you, at all times? Is being nice just having better etiquette?
I prefer people who act nice to me even if they don't like me personally if it is a professional or formal setting. In an informal setting if a person does not like me then I would rather they not stay around me because I don't want to be around people who have a problem with me.
Why waste your time and energy and risk offending someone when you get it wrong? Have no expectations for any person. When something positive happens, you will be pleasantly surprised. And, when something negative happens, you will not be shocked, sad, or angry.
If you say "have no expectations for any person" and so doing, when something negative happens, one won't be shocked, sad or angry, then I will say you are indirectly implying that one should expect something negative from everyone and when something positive happens, someone can be pleasantly surprised. 😱😱😱
They're trying to get something out of you, so they have to be nice or you won't give it to them. After they've got what they wanted, they just go back to their own selves.
True, but is there a person in the world except your mother who isn't trying to get something out of you? Do you have unconditional love in your life or do you consider it scarce?
Why waste your time and energy and risk offending someone when you get it wrong? Have no expectations for any person. When something positive happens, you will be pleasantly surprised. And, when something negative happens, you will not be shocked, sad, or angry.
killerpotato....i am watching you....if you plagiarize someone again i will flag you below rep25
I think more of it this way, We are all born with different desires built into us, have you ever had the desire to hit your boss or someone who is just rude?some people have desires to consume drugs but they don't because their morals and brain tell them they should not.
Treating someone nicely even if you don't like them is more about being moral and clever than pretending in my humble opinion. it's like choosing to go swimming in the cold water knowing it's good for your health and body even if your desires tell you to stay in bed. So it's an act of courage to be nice to someone knowing very well you don't really like them.
Funny how the older you get the less you care if people like you or not :) I agree with you that I prefer people to be pleasant around me (it's the mature/polite thing to do) and to not waste my time and/or energy if they have a problem with me.
I prefer people who treats me in real... but not offensive. It doesn't have to be nice but must be honest. I don't want people around me if they don't like me, too. Great post. Thanks. Upvoted and followed. Hugs from Spain.
I came from the culture, where we are more direct, to culture, where more weight is put into don't hurt someones feelings.
While I agree, there is not reason to be a jerk, some transparency and honesty is important. If you don't like me I would rather i know this, instead you smile in my face and talk bad about me behind my back.
I prefer it to be faked, even if I can see right through it. I'm kind and polite around people I dislike because I'd prefer to be treated nice in kind. If someone has a problem with me, though, I'd still rather know what the problem is. It's not contradictory either. I can be polite and say "I dislike you as of late because you X" and I won't have any hard feelings. It's better than "Fuck you, I hate everything about you, go kill yourself."
I agree. In public, don't be a turd but in private, just leave me alone! I do think we need a degree of decorum or we'd have chaos all the time.
Well, I prefer people who can try as much as possible to be nice to me even if they have their own reasons of not liking me. I do same too, the only thing I will do to give a little sign is not to be close to them. You can't see me having a friendly kind of conversion with someone I don't like but I will be nice to them if somehow something like work brings us together.
I don't mind when people fake it honestly. It kinda goes back to that saying of "if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all", so maybe the people should just keep quiet at that point...not entirely sure though.
I definitely agree with you that people should always be nice and friendly in formal setting, the problem with those people being nice in informal settings is usually the fact that you can't help but be around them in the informal. One of my best friends is friends with someone that doesn't care for me much, but I end up being around him so much when we go out for drinks and what not.