Of Quips and Quirks

It’s the weekend. I hope you had a good week. If not, I have some good news for you. The week is over! Time to relax and have a few laughs. After all, laughter is the best medicine for giving your moods a lift.

Enjoy this selection of clever, witty, quirky, humorous and idiosyncratic quotes. Nevertheless, some of them has a whole lot of truth in them.

Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can, and will be used against you. So, use your right to remain silent. - Unknown

I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same. - Unknown

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston S. Churchill

One hundred percent of divorces start with a marriage. - Mark Gungor

I am starting meetings at my house for people who have OCD. I don’t have it, I’m just hoping they’ll take one look and start cleaning. - Unknown

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. - Rhonda Hansome

Come good times or bad, there is always a market for things nobody needs. - Kin Hubbard

A doctor is a man who writes prescriptions, till the patient either dies or is cured by nature. - John Taylor

I love it when I buy a bag of air and the company is nice enough to put some chips in. - Unknown

Following the “five-second rule” for food that fell to the floor is tough when you’ve got a two-second dog. - Unknown

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. - Helen Rowland

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Of Friends and Friendship