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RE: Private Messaging on Steem and eSteem...
0.001 SBD/STEEM can be used to send message back and forth without costing extra fee
I will let the other party talk and talk giving them my reply every 10 minutes or so! (just kidding)
I think too that option 5 is the most elegant solution for the reasons you already mentioned.
PS Make it sense when I sent 5 messages to somebody for example, before he replies, that I get from him $0.005 SBD on his next reply to keep the real balance between us exactly as before the conversation started? So at the end of the conversation our SBD/STEEM balances are unaffected! ( -/+ 0.001 SBD/STEEM)
We had some conversation at Oslo Hackathon with @noisy about this. His suggestion was to pay for private messages in order to get your message higher priority. This would also solve spam attack! Whale would receive 100+ messages per day from users who wishes to get upvote or attention, and if you want to get your message higher priority or friend of that user, you would do so by sending higher amount and he would see your message as higher priority and can choose to reply you by sending back same amount or none... :))
A mute button would not solve that?
When you ask for money it is a minus...
It is already a "problem" you must have at least a couple of cents to start a conversation ...
Maybe a solution would be if new accounts get added to their SP $0.01 -$0.1 SBDs from steemit.inc (?)...
Probably, NOTE: I am not suggesting using/implementing above technique, but it is one possible implementation of it.
For messaging, it can be strictly 0.001 STEEM/SBD