Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It's another Saturday and time for your favorite block chain show that helps mend and build stronger relationships on the block chain. Yes, it is Saturday night with Zizy. If you notice I didn't say it is a beautiful saturday, this is because the crypto dip has really affected so many of us and if not for the love that some of us have for writing and also the fact that others feel obligated, so many of us would have stopped steeming by now but oh well, I would say I'm hopeful that the market shows green soon enough so everywhere will be as sizzling and as bubbling as it used to be. I miss the traffic on my blog and I'm sure you miss yours too.

Last week outing well, we recorded a very low turn out and you know why, with the crypto dip as I mentioned earlier and the ongoing world cup, so many couldn't make it to the show but some still made it a point of duty to show up and lil token of appreciation have been sent to each and everyone of you. Let me still use this medium to say a big thank you to @mizdais, @jeaniepearl, @julietisreal, @doris-adioha, @igweyakubu, @itoroarchibong @korexe, @dklef, @preciousimo, @rebeccafl and @shollstun for coming to the show last week. @one-person, @dubem-eu, @eurogee, @oyinoza ,@vheobong, @iamthegray, @esttyb and @surfyogi, I missed your lovely comments and I hope to see you around today.

Without much Ado, let's go straight into the crux of the matter but before we start,

DJ play the music in jenifa's voice...LOL

RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH ZIZY

Love is a strange feeling. So many have tried to give it a definition but who can truly understand how it operates? Love hits you when you least expect. One moment you are in love, butterflies in your stomach and lots of daydreaming and fantasies. The feeling of falling in love with someone is perhaps the most fantastic and excited feeling you could experience in the world. You feel so lucky to be love by the one you love and then promised of forever follows. We all have been there. But then, things take a turn and trust goes, all of the assurances and security goes out of the window and things are not longer the same. Love starts to die a very slow death.

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WHAT CAUSES LOVE TO DIE?

There are so many factors that can cause love to die. Sometimes it is intentional and other times we do not know that a particular attitude or habit is killing the love our partner has for us. For those who have suffered series of heartbreak, opening the door to love again takes so much work and when they finally let go, they feel a ton of fear about loosing love so they try to lock it in place.Ironicaly, this coping mechanism backfires because the tight fence they build around love suffocates it in the end. Love cannot be boxed in.

In the same vein, overthinking and preempting your partner's action is another love killer. When you overthink and overthink and over analyze your partner's every word, movement, action or even thoughts, it killed any chance of intimacy or connection. Worrying and trying to figure out someone's intention versus taking them at face value is a sign of emotionally operating from the past in an afford to stay safe in the present and this past ends up hurting the present.

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Love is work, look at love as trying to loose weight, when you exercise and eat healthy you lose weight and stay healthy but when you stop, you add weight and become obese. Great relationships dont just happen. A relationship does not grow without love and care and attention. Anger and resentment kills love so fast. Lack of willingness to compromise and meet each other half way, when love becomes what I want then the relationship becomes a negotiation between two selfish point of views. Sometimes, you need to put love first before your ego.

Love dies when one simply do not care anymore. Your partner no longer means anything to you and then you start taking them for granted. You criticize everything they do. Critical remarks sends a clear message, "you are incompetent, inadequate and inept". Comparison sets in and then expectations that cause nasty fights and arguments sends love flying through the window.

There are so many factors that can kill love slowly. Having a partner who Stonewall and will never want to communicate is also a part of it. When you feel like you have to love your partner in a certain way or do certain things to make them happy or act in a certain way to get the love you deserve from them, love starts to disintegrate and dies slowly. Boredom, distractions, wandering libido etc are all killers of love.

When love is dying, it usually doesn't show signs at the beginning. It can sneak up on you as quietly as falling in love did in the beginning. How can you tell your love a dying or your partner love for you is diminishing?

SIGNS THAT LOVE IS DYING.

1. NO FUTURE PLANS: When we fall in love, it comes with lots of fantasies and we can't stop making plan and picturing yourself in each other's future. Talks about number of kids, where to live and even wedding plans are always pleasant but when love is dying, such topic becomes sore and it is entirely avoided.

2. "I LOVE YOU" IS RELEGATED: Lovers always want to say "I love you" to each other not because they do not know they love each other but because saying it feels like a reminder, a reassurance and to some, avow renewal. When love is dying, saying those words becomes a burden. You may try to force it out with a smile but it really doesn't work. This is because the less you feel it, the less you say it and sometimes, you want to change the subject immediately.

3. COMMUNICATION DIES: The hours spent on phone, giggling, chatting and laughing reduces drastically. Texting becomes less because suddenly there is nothing to talk about. You naturally avoid conversations.

4. NO MORE INTIMACY: If it happens at all, you try to make it as quick as possible. Snuggling up in the couch, a stolen kiss in the kitchen, a tight Hug and even something as simple as holding hands feels like you are being smothered. Intimacy suddenly feels wrong and then you crave for privacy and some space.

5. FAULT FINDING: When love is dying,you start noticing flaws. These flaws may have been there from the onset but you were too blinded by love to notice them or perhaps you did notice but overlooked it. Suddenly you start noticing things that are deal breakers for you. Everything gets on your nerves. You can't stand his whispering while he is bathing or the sound he makes while he is eating. The cute little habits ain't cute anymore and his funny jokes becomes dry.

6. SUBTLE UNKINDNESS: You become so unkind and every request meets a "NO" response. you don't care anymore and you are not afraid to show it. You are no longer willing to compromise and you become defensive whenever little issues arises with a handy threat to end the relationship at every given opportunity.

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When you start desiring so much to be single again and even starts noticing someone of the opposite sex, it simply means your relationship is in danger. But can a dying love be rekindled? This will be a topic of discourse next time on this show.

DATING TIPS

Love is like a flower, it flourishes when watered with care and nurtured with affection and dries up when left untouched. Only you can make your relationship beautiful.

FUN CORNER (JUST FOR LAUGHS)

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If she doesn't get angry or gets mad at you, my brother forget it, you are not her real boyfriend.

DEAR ZIZY

Anonymous 1

Hi @zizymena please post and keep me anonymous. This is for a friend of mine thats need help. I wouldnt want anyone to judge me, all I need is sincere advise. I'm a Nigerian based in Ghana. I went to Ghana to seek for greener pastures and there I became a call girl. During one of my night work I hooked up with a client who really liked me. After that night, he told me he doesn't want to share me with any other man and so I became his personal mistress and from there he asked me to marry him after some months and I agreed. He made me stop my job but the problem is he doesn't give me money. He buys everything we need in the house but he doesn't give me cash at hand. I have asked him to set me up with a business and he refused. I'm not happy. I came to Ghana to make money to take care of me and my family and now my fiance won't let me go back to my business or give me money. Once I challenged him and he beat me severely. I am confused. I don't know what to do. Should I runaway and go back to Nigeria or please what should I do? I am tired of the relationship.

Anonymous 2

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I have been dating Joy for 3 years now. She is a student of Ozoro polytechnic but based in warri. She always visits me at Benin whenever she is on holidays but I never knew where she lives. Last week, a business trip took me down to warri and so I decided to use that opportunity to see Joy and get to know where she lives. I called and asked where she was and she told me she was home. I now told her that I'm in warri and I would love to come know her house. She replied that she is going to the market and that we should meet on the road that no need of me coming to her place. I insisted I want to know where she lives so she should send me addy so I can come meet her up. Next thing her phone was switched off. I called and called and later left back to Benin. Three days later, Joy called to inform me that she had flat battery that was why her phone went off. I don't know why I don't believe her. I have made up my mind to quit the relationship but I want to be sure I am doing the right thing. Please help me analyse this situation. It's anonymous ba? Thanks

CONCLUSION

Wow! What a trip all the way down here. We have finally come to the end of the show. I hope you enjoyed every part of it? If you have comments for every segment, do not worry Steemit doesnt penalize you for dropping more than 1 comment on a post. Why not express yourself and check out other peoples comment too? It's always fun interacting.

If you love this show and want to support, your SBDs and Steem are very welcomed. Supporters so far are @eurogee, @amec and @samminator@sammest and @smyle. Thanks a lot guys.
I hate to leave you but leave you I must.

Until next time when I come your way again, same time, same blog, more hosts, I remain

Yours truly

@zizymena.