These lines can save you a lot of headaches.

Much can be said about any aspect in any type of relationship, however because this point is the common denominator in almost all, I felt it was important to highlight, we talked about the need for personal individuality in long relationships, which could be the latter of any kind, from work relationships, courtships, friendships, marriages among others.

The needs of the own space, the emotions that produce the lack of it, the problem of expressing it, the man-cave and the woman-palace, will be the topics that we will detail trying not to make the post too long or too heavy for us to find in a quick reading details that many times we can ignore even if they are right under our noses.

The needs of own space.

It seems a cliche of movies but the phrase "we need to give ourselves a time" is in many cases a consequence of not having perceived the relevant and necessary for a person to have their own space, their individual projects, their particular tastes, many times, When you start a friendship, (by taking some kind of relationship) you want to do everything together and more when you share a lot of tastes, but as a friend once said, two people may like the color blue, but with the time together you will begin to see that there are many shades of the same color.

Here lies the point we are dealing with, when an individual, who is generically configured to walk in any type of "herd", opts for collective taste, will always be leaving individual tastes in favor of maintaining the balance of those who accompany him.

This will cause the progressive and cumulative dissatisfaction of so many bits of situations that could eventually cause a break in the relationship in question, this is what should be avoided.

Emotions produced by lack of individuality.

At first, for all that implies any relationship will not immediately feel great attachment to the "individual space" however as the years go by, we will surely start to think about the matter, when the individual projects (and I do not talk about big projects) are left aside or want to be shared by others who do not value it equally, the feeling begins to be unpleasant, and begin to miss the moments where solitude allowed you to have something of your own.

It is notorious, we all have a particular taste that is not pleasant for those who share our days, if for example in an office with a musical atmosphere you listen to what most people listen to, and they did not put that mp3 with the fabulous sacred music of the seventeenth century that you found so spectacular and your friends brought you nightmares, it will not be long when, after hearing enough salsa and songs of chayanne and manna, you end up buying some headphones for your music.

Beyond this, in the group, the 5 remaining members also want from the first day their own headphones because among their herd repertoire, they will never put on that Jimi Hendrix album that they like so much and that the rest leads to a placid "Sepultura".

Without leaving aside the aspect of the sub-valuation of your individualities, which I feel worse than not sharing your tastes, and I exemplify it, suppose, and this happens a lot in pairs, that the other individual insists on sharing "Everything" with you, although he does not know it or does not value it, when he feels the automatic assent, the automatic like or the barbarities that can leave "according to you" of people that without knowing or without evaluating your tastes they think of what you like, it can end up offending.

Let's take a simple example for this, very personal, when a work colleague heard the music that in my headphones sounded Joaquin Sabina and said: "Singing weird the old man I think it was copied from Arjona", I can assure you I provoke for a Instant throw it through the window to improve your tastes against the sidewalk that is 4 floors below. (I have to assume that the opposite case could also be so, and it is the beauty of individuality).

The problem to express it

It is something that we have all felt, but we have not realized that it is something that happens to everyone, and it is that in most of the time it is quite difficult to open the gap you need to recover that area where you feel absolute and unipersonal of what you like to do without this leading to some kind of misunderstanding or offense of the people or person that you have to set aside for this purpose.
However, it is primordial and psychologically healthy that the way to do it is found.

the Man-cave and the Woman-palace

Although these terms come from or are related to physical spaces conditioned specifically for the tastes of men or women in homes, and in fact there are television programs where you can see the construction of spectacular ones that are nothing more than a playground for large children (Obviously I would like a lot to have my own), in this case we will refer to them as the space that we must leave in each relationship to each of the members of it to have as much time as projects, tastes and even objects that are own them and understand that you can not share "everything" because we are not clones of each other, and that if we were like that, the relationships would be so monotonous and boring that the human race would have died out of boredom.

If your girlfriend likes to see "Friends" and you do not, do not share it, or at least save the comment of: we already saw this chapter. Because I'm sure she knows it, and being her particular taste does not care about a cucumber that is the eighteenth time she sees it, and she'll laugh the same way while ignoring you so you do not damage the chapter.

If on the other hand her husband likes football, ma'am, do not insist on telling her about what the condo group says for whatssap while watching a game like this in a deferred fashion, let alone sit aside and ask her questions that They are so obvious that when you sketch him you will not know whether to send her to an acyl or a worse place.

Friend rocker of the office, maybe, and just maybe, listen to "Sepultura" at 8 o'clock in the morning is not pleasant for those who share with you and very sure I am that when they go several weeks of this will feel bitter until morning coffee if you insist on sharing your stylized. taste.

The need for the individual is something that if not taken into account can deteriorate any type of relationship, it is important to know when we are setting foot on that line and get out as quickly as possible.

White F.

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