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RE: The Curation and Engagement Leagues 🏆 - STEEM prizes & steem-bounty available! 🎁
Some might say you're getting burnt out, but you and I talked this week, so that would mean I am too...which is entirely possible :) I almost asked Asher to take me out of the equation this week because I felt my placement would be dreadful; I'm pleased with 7th all things considered, but I'm not pleased with 7th in terms of what I know to be capable of. I believe you will understand exactly what I'm talking about.
The great thing about all of this is that this is the beginning of another week, the slate is wiped clean and our opportunity is there for the taking. You in? :)
Well, I'm here. The spirit is willing, in fact, probably demanding, but the flesh is getting pretty obstinate. I think it's a combination of things with me, which I guess ultimately means burnout. It's just that there's always more to it than that, right?
I think my main issue is I'm living in a house divided when it comes to STEEM and I'm losing the battle because things aren't going fast enough. I don't know how they could go any faster, I don't think they're really supposed to, but that doesn't quite cut it as an explanation.
If we were really in a bad financial situation (which we're not), me getting back to work and not doing as much of this would make perfect sense. But we're not in dire straits, far from it. It's not like we're without some stress and needing to watch the finances during certain periods of a month, but we're not on the street, we're more than a paycheck away from any major issues (more like two or three months, at least), and we have so many options and resources available to exhaust, with my working being primary, before it could come to any of that, barring accidents and illnesses and so forth, which can always happen and are hard to fully prepare for.
I guess what I'm saying is, the worry about the situation is doing more damage than the actual situation. And I think the inevitability of not being able to convince my wife of that started to weigh on me a lot more last week.
And when that happens, it's hard to concentrate because I start losing sight of the purpose, even though I know full well the purpose and believe completely in the purpose and feel like I am meant to be here. That's where the problem is. Having the certainty of what I'm supposed to do, but without much real support (tolerance is not support), but then still needing to put in a major amount of work without any guarantees, even though I believe this is what I'm supposed to be doing. It's a step into the dark before you get to the light kind of deal.
I understand everything you are saying, and thankfully, Brian has been here and knows what it's all about, which of course makes it much easier to explain the "why are you on their so much?" question.
"Worry" is always worse than the actuality I find. I hope you figure it all out and continue. I too believe in "all of this", but for someone looking for something more immediate, this really isn't the place I'm afraid.