Let small noises become emotional lubricants

source

Many people think that quarrels can hurt feelings. It is a good thing for two people to be together without quarreling. Therefore, some people always try to suppress their anger, try to be considerate of each other and avoid quarrels, but they do not know that it is not necessarily a good thing not to quarrel blindly.

If two people are always suppressing their anger and do not vent their sulking every time, the resentment in their hearts will grow bigger and bigger, and their dissatisfaction with each other will slowly accumulate until one day. Suddenly it broke out, and it was out of control. Therefore, smart people will treat quarrels as emotional lubricants, instead of blindly avoiding them, but control quarrels within their own control to ease their inner bad emotions.

This is like water control. The root of water control lies in dredging rather than blocking prevention. The result of blocking prevention can only be that the more the water is blocked, the more turbulent the tide will be. In the end, the dam becomes overwhelmed and the flood is surging out. Reason is the dam in people's mind. If you just blindly prevent quarrels and strengthen your own rationality, sooner or later your rationality will be overwhelmed by emotions and be overwhelmed by negative emotions. The total explosion of negative emotions will cause the relationship between two people to break. Appropriate quarrels are a way of channeling. It can allow one's negative emotions to have a channel for venting. Regular and appropriate flooding can be a good way to regulate emotions and regulate the relationship between two people.

With the acceleration of the pace of life and the intensification of social competition, we are burdened with more and more pressure, especially the white-collar workers who are fighting in the workplace, they are guarding against being laid off every day, and striving for better positions every day. , I work trembling every day, lest I lose my source of life once, and the pressure can be imagined. More and more fierce competition in the workplace will also have a certain impact on personal life, and the family atmosphere may become depressed as a result. Sometimes quarrels become a way to vent pressure and inner dissatisfaction.

Men seldom choose to tell women about their frustrations and dissatisfaction, especially when their wives are troubled by their own pressure, and they can't bear to tell them and increase their worries. Sometimes, wives ignore their husbands because they are too busy, and men will quarrel like a neglected child to attract their attention or vent their inner pressure. Please remember that a man's quarrel is not necessarily because of dissatisfaction with you. When a proud man is wronged, he can only lose his temper with his closest person, and you are his closest person.

In addition to catharsis, quarrels have other benefits. When arguing, everyone will tell what they really want to say in their hearts, and afterwards they will find that each other's understanding of each other has gone a step further. When quarreling, everyone has no scruples and tends to talk about the shortcomings of the other party. If you calm down, you can understand that there are many problems in yourself, and understand how the other party wants to be treated. These problems are often not realized by people in their sweet lives. of.

source
For example, on weekdays you think he is not considerate enough, but you think it may be caused by the carelessness of the man or the pressure of work. You have been enduring it. When quarreling, you will cry, "You never cared about my thoughts and were not considerate of me." , And then he understands where he is not doing well enough. In this way, you understand his thoughts and he also understands your thoughts. When you get along in the future, you will try to avoid things that make each other angry, and your relationship will be sweeter. People often do not give in to each other when arguing, full of resentment and sulking, but after the quarrel, the feelings are more harmonious than before. This is probably the magic of the quarrel.

Quarrel will also let you see the meaning of love. When quarreling, we often say with anger, "If you don't work, we will break up", "If we break up, we will break up"... Then, the woman starts to cry, the man starts to smoke, you start to think about whether to separate, and you will find out in the end. , You still love each other, you can't do without him. Quarrel is actually a kind of rest, it is the rest of a relationship. It's like knowing the benefits of health after getting sick, and only after quarreling, do you know how important each other is. When you calm down, you will discover the many benefits of the other party and realize the importance of him to you.

The love of respecting each other as a guest is certainly valuable, but because of the lack of passion, the feeling will gradually become flat, and finally it will become dispensable, and the respect of each other like a guest will become "respect like ice." The quarrel is like a little pepper in the dish of life, although it is not essential, but with more of it, there will be more excitement, more freshness, and more flavor, which may make love become More passionate.