Dear Diary: I Can't Help It To Cry Today
Maybe the steam of emotions are just boiling from inside me that I spontaeneously cried tonight. I always wanted to cry before but for no reason at all or maybe for all the reasons in the world I have to just let it out once in a while and cry. It is just I am fearing of what will happen to me in the future.
Sometimes I pity myself as i wasn't my former self and I hate it really. No one wants to be like this but still I am in the middle of it and things are going worse. There is nothing that I can do but pray for fate not to be so cruel to me. I am just thinking about my disabilities and how they are progressing.
This morning I took a bath and getting to the bathroom wasn't easy, I was able to go to it with the guide of my father but upon going back my feet hurts and stepping on with it is near impossible already and I needed to use a wheelchair. Getting back up and into my bed where I put on my underwear and shorts is difficult too. The there is my eating issues and my face that seems growing still.
It just takes a few seconds to think about those to put me into crying. What bothers me most is my fear to be seen by strangers because they all stare and acts weird when I am around, all because of my appearance so I either close my eyes or look away. All of that affects my feeling to a degree that I sometimes want to get mad if not from steemit, my last bastion of emotional support where I let out my steam and earn steem in return which then supports my health and personal needs. God help me. God bless steemit community.
My dear friend, it hurts me so much to read what you are feeling, because the situation in which you are going through is difficult. Hopefully people will learn to value the neighbor more for what is in their heart than for their appearance, that bothers me greatly, because God gave me the blessing of knowing and being friends with 2 wonderful people who physically have special conditions, but they are people with such a noble spirit, who like you have taught me that we should look beyond the physical, for me it is really annoying as intimacy with uncomfortable looks when we meet in the street. Try to ignore that kind of person, friend, God looks at you with eyes of love and many value what you really are, I know that God has something very big for you. A big hug dear friend.
hello, friend, there is nothing wrong with crying, when one cries, the soul is released, and it makes you feel better, you drain everything that is inside of you. I feel that you are going through this, only God knows the mysteries of life, but he does not give a burden to those who can not take it, you are an example of life, and in spite of all the adversities that you have there every day, and you give thanks to God because you still breathe, only he knows the reason why he has you in the world, but of something if I am sure, he sees and listens to you, he has not abandoned you or judged you, I do not know you personally but believe me to be able to make my personal friend and not for pity or compassion for you, if not because you are really an excellent person and I am a few friends, but even if it is not there, I want you to count on me, so be it I will always be listening to you, because I consider you my friend.
I think I understand your pain. You are hurting inside because of your challenges now, but I want to tell you that there is hope. The fact that you can write is a plus. You are empowered with the ability to share with us, the Steemitans. I will share this with you. My husband is gone to help with a construction of a small house for one eighteen years old who has nowhere to sleep but under the blanket of night on the beach. His mother has abandoned him . In your case your family member is by your side and you have a place to stay. Continue to give vent to your thoughts. By doing this you can develop this in a book. I will pray for you. I am a Christian and I know that God Almighty is greater than our needs. Talk to the Lord, he will answer your cry. God bless
"What bothers me most is my fear to be seen by strangers because they all stare and acts weird when I am around, all because of my appearance".
What advantage do u get out of bothering?
Why should u give damn about them?
Think positively aboht their gazes, not all people are bad, some are good too and may be by gazing at u they may be praying for u.
Everyone is struggling in their own ways and u should behave like strong and brave person.Have faith on GOD.
Thanks for sharing. Every person has its own emotions. Some peoples happy in his life but some are not. Every person luck is diffrent from others.
@cryptopie It is good to vent anguish. Soon you will be able to relieve yourself with your tears. An affectionate hug.
I don't know what to tell you. But I pray for you to feel better and May God grant you strength to endure all this. Goodnight. *hugs
Please! Please!! take away your emotion from how people act when they see you .we are here for you. In fact , if not say i am just a minnow i will provide a device to make sure i am with you all the time online. I know is difficult but please try to free your mind there. May God who is the author and the finisher of our faith pour his grace and faith to you to endure to the end.because , i know that the end thereof will be glory.
extraordinary words ... This community is to learn, to distract us, to travel through photos and stories and to meet people from all over the world ... God made Steemit come to our lives for something. Greetings friends!
Your words reach my soul because they are genuine feelings, only you know the burden of your cross, God will give you healing, believe friend. a hug brother.
no one is happy in this world . physically economically or somehow they will be un happy. all they need to do is exit that and progress in life.