We need to feel sometimes
Driving home on the interstate Thursday, I glanced over at a nearby road. There was an older gentleman and most likely his grand-daughter. That scene looked like a painting...and would've been an interesting photograph. Then out of the blue, from the suppressed vault of memories stack up like Tetris blocks, I remembered I would've been a father of a 14 year old this year. I wondered if it would've been a little girl....if she would've... If it would've been a boy... Then i think about what happened and it's like waking up from a nice long sleep and jumping into a nightmare of knowing what happens in an abortion....I'd rather not know. I'd rather be numb than to feel. I'd rather forget, and not know but sometimes the mind goes where it goes....and there's no stopping it. But maybe sometimes we need that....just to remember what it is like to really feel, even if good judgment isn't there to keep us quiet about it.
hey @bodhisomething.. well I have missed you here a lot. It is so nice to see you back again. I can't say I understand exactly the feelings you must be feeling, having gone through such a sad experience, but I do know that feeling of loss regarding something that never came to be what it should have been. But a child.. it's unfathomable to me, the thought of ever being pregnant and then losing my child for any reason. I send love and hugs and if you ever need to talk you know where I am.
hugs ♥
serena