We judge others because we are too scared to judge ourselves

Most people are pretty quick when it comes to judging others. Sometimes, all they have to do is see them and base their opinion on the color of their skin, gender, and even the clothes they wear. Why is this still happening and why was it ever a normal part of human behavior? Unfortunately, this will be present in the future too because it is rooted deep into our psyche. It is easy to proclaim it as wrong and I am not saying that it is not but only by understanding what causes it can we start working on it.

This little thinking of mine about this topic was inspired by a lovely question made by @eco-alex that is also the @ecoTrain Question Of The Week contest in collaboration with TribeVibes Community. It just goes to show that people are thinking and pondering about themselves and the world they live in. It is important that we question our thinking and behavior patterns as often as possible because how would we know what to change if we are not aware that change is needed or possible? Let's see where this judgment of others really comes from...

When we mention the verb "to judge", two things immediately come to mind. One is about judges in courts and the other is about people who have prejudice or just make quick conclusions without giving the subject enough thought. They object and do not approve of a certain action and proclaim it wrong. The problem is, they proclaim the person doing the action wrong too because they equalize that action with the person doing it. Nothing wrong with that, our actions are the best indicator of our character but this can only be done properly if we take every action into account, not just the one. We usually focus only on a specific thing.

You will be much successful, not to mention safer, if you think before you act. Before responding to outside stimulus, stop for a moment and take as much as you possibly can into consideration. This is important to responding to people especially. It goes a long way if you are able to adjust your reaction to others, especially in the business world. You do need to be careful about who you let into your personal space, work with and spend your time with. Judgment can be especially helpful but only if it is done properly, rationally and with an open mind. We often find ourselves in dangerous situations because we did not judge properly when we should have. Just remember that when you are dissecting a certain situation or a character of a person, it is crucial that you leave your prejudice far behind because they could distract you from making the right decision.

I have already writen a post about stereotypes that you can read here: The neurobiology of stereotypes where I have backed my claims with some serious scientific research on our neurons and what happens in our brains that cause us to have stereotypes. Give that article a read, not to blow my own horn but it is quite interesting.

Every person is unique. You are, I am, and all the other pronouns. If a person you come in contact has some similar or even the same traits like those you have met before that does not mean that all her traits are the same. We sometimes have mini PTSD when we get hurt by someone and are quick to judge anyone that resembles the person who has wronged us. Cut people some slack and learn about them. Just because your Ex loved cats does not mean all people who love cats are cheaters. Not all Muslims are terrorist because the minority of them are, not all black people are criminals because a minority of them are in gangs, and not all white people are racists, have a narcissistic personality, and are bullies with morals of a scam artist even though some of them are presidents of large countries.

There is a line that all of us should never cross when justifying someone's bad behavior. It is a line that has to do with the specific nature of that behavior. You all know by now that I am a big opponent to war, aggression, and violence but I do have respect for self-defense and see absolutely nothing wrong in anyone defending themselves. That being said, I will never judge a person or think bad of them if they killed someone in self-defense when they were in danger of being killed or raped. Speaking of rape or murder that are not in self-defense, I have no justification for that, none what so ever. Call me a hippy if you want but I think war is the stupidest and the most harmful thing humanity is dealing with.

It is easy to judge others, too easy. We are comfortable with who we are and our views of life so when something differs from them, the judgment part comes naturally. This is because of evolutionary biology and all those reasons that helped us to survive in the past. We needed to keep what is "like us" safe. Today we live in modern times and should be able to approach every situation with a rational thinking. We do not know why a certain person did what she did because we are not in her shoes. I am not saying that forgiving is easy but it is healthy, being kind and open-minded enough to not get hurt by the fact that someone is different is even more healthier. Just try to think of it this way: "Why is something bothering you?" There is a theory that people who never judge themselves are the quickest to judge others. Is that the case with you? Are you neglecting your little talk with the reflection in the mirror and projecting that resentment to others?

When you see a person doing something you would never do, try not to be so quick to judge her. You have no idea what is behind that act or if the act is true or not, maybe you are the one who is wrong. I know that is sometimes hard to accept. If you are not ready for that yet, keep thinking that you are right but be easy and kind to others when you think they are wrong. That is a good start. Let love guide you and spread it around as much as you can. Search for the reasons why people act or think the way they do. Who knows what you may learn about them.