"What was one of the happiest times in your life and what made it special?" - EcoTrain Question of The Week
This EcoTrain Question Of The Week couldn't have come at a better time for me, I am going through a huge transition in my life at the moment and it has been quite the roller coaster, you can probably tell that by some of the posts I have written as of late.
So it is really good for me to remember and reflect upon some of the happiest times in my life. For a few days there though, I really thought I that I would not be able to write this as I was feeling quiet sad and overwhelmed, but this is actually the best time for me to write, so I began going through my memories and girl do I feel lucky for all my life has given me so far.
So many things came into my head, places I have travelled to, cultures I have had the honour of experiencing, so many amazing and wonderful people I have met. My first time being in the jungle, that was, so amazing for me, I was overcome with awe by the sounds, the sights and the energy that surrounded me and I thought there for a minute that I would write about that. My first time in Mexico. But no, I am not going to share that experience just yet, not today, not in this post.
I have always wanted to have children, to become a mother. Yet when I was growing up and going to school the emphasis was put on you to get a career, to make something of yourself. The words success and mother where never heard together, motherhood was and unfortunately still is very undervalued. The pressure put on young girls back then and even now is to conform and fit into society, a society where if you are to to be successful you have to have a career and anything less is frowned upon.
But me, I have loved everything about motherhood. From the very beginning, I loved being pregnant. With my Womb in bloom, that feeling of creating and carrying life inside of me, how can I find the words to describe that, when it still blows my mind, that my body can actually do that, has done that on 3 different occasions. It really still blows my mind, how fecking amazing is my body, that it carried my babies and created a placenta for each of them, the amazing placenta that nourished them, that was their little companion inside my womb. And all of those sensations, the first time you feel them move, like little butterflies fluttering inside, caressing you. The first time you feel them kick,or see the imprint of a hand or a foot on your belly, the first time they have the hiccups and that over whelming sense of love, pure love that flows between you both.
I really felt invincible whilst I was pregnant, I have had long periods of feeling insecure before I became a mother, insecure about my body and sexuality. But wow did that change when I was pregnant, I felt like a warrior women, I felt so comfortable and at home in my own skin, seeing my body change and all the while sustain life is so amazing and emotional and empowering, it was for me anyhow. It brought up a lot of emotions in me, that is what pregnancy does, with all the hormonal changes happening in your body it creates this amazing opportunity to cleanse yourself. This is part of the transition into motherhood. We need to shake off our worries and our stresses, allow ourselves to be lighter so that we can fully embrace and prepare ourselves for birth and the joys of motherhood.
With my first daughter, I remember looking at pictures of babies inside of the womb, looking at them to see how much they had grown each week, but I soon realized, that looking at these images and reading these books about pregnancy was taking my time away from actually sitting with myself and my baby. I didn't need these, what I needed was to focus on finding ways to journey inwards and connect with her.
I have been very lucky that I did not need to work (as in away from home) during my pregnancies, which gave me the time to really be with myself and sit with myself, to really bond with all of my babies, to feel their energy inside of me. To talk to them, sing to them and read to them. I feel so lucky to have been able to do this, but then, this is also the lifestyle I choose. I live a minimalism lifestyle, my needs are little, but my life is oh so full.
I remember the mother blessing I had for my first daughter, I had only recently returned to Ireland after living abroad for 11 years and I had met some people after becoming involved in the Palestine Solidarity Group. One of them was a woman called Deirdre who had moved to Ireland from America and she had just recently become a mother and she wanted to hold a mother blessing for me. So here I was with my ex partner and a small group of newly made friends, about to celebrate my transition into motherhood. I didn't know what to expect and I felt a little nervous about being the centre of attention.
But this new friend of mine, created this beautiful sacred space where I could talk about any fears I had about birth and mothering and also the many joys that lay in wait. Surrounded by these amazing women and men I felt so nurtured and supported, giving me more confidence during my transition into motherhood. I knew I was meant to be there at that moment, with these people. We welcomed in the elements, our ancestors and we sang and we talked. Stories were shared, knowledge gained and wonderful bonds were made that last to this day.
I carried that love and that power with me on the last month of my pregnancy and it lifted me up and in the end craved my way into motherhood. This started with a small community that grew in to a larger one, one that helped me step more into my power and tap in to my potential as a woman and as a mother. From that Mother Blessing, I grew in confidence and in wisdom. I became involved in more blessings, in sacred celebrations and it strengthen my bond with the earth, with myself.
That has been one of the happiest times in my life and from it so many more have flowed and continue to do so. I am so grateful for all that has come my way. For the many people who have come into my life and to the many more that I have yet to meet.
i love this dear and i love that you had diedre who held that space for you and encouraged others to do the same. i think if i ever had a child or children, i'll need a similar space because it brings up a lot of scary stuff for me, a lot of fear! kudos to you mama and thanks for sharing these bright moments in your life <3 :) also look forward to hearing your jungle/mexico story one day! the jungle is certainly an awe inspiring place! xoxo
thank you Wren, it was really great to remember this part of my life and reflect on all that it has brought me. Mother blessings are so important. Much love to you xx
For me it was almost the same, although I spent most time alone or with my partner during my pregnancy, it was the most powerful and beautiful time in my life. I felt so in touch with my body, my baby, and in love with the world. You have as always written such an empowering post for us to take part in!
Thank you beautiful!
x
thank you @vegan.niinja, I knew you would relate to those feelings xxx
ahhhh! Look at your amazing belly!!! lucky children you have ;-)
im SO happy to relive your beautiful memories with you here.. that is of course why i chose this QOTW.. because we all could use a little focus on the positive. for me it was really helpful because I also remembered what made me happy and can keep honouring that today.. its easy to forget, or make compromises in times of stress or when pressured.. and lets not do that!
very happy you chose motherhood.. that is the greatest gift really.. <3 xx
Thank you @eco-alex, this was a joy to remember and write about xx
Thanks for sharing this memories of your happiest times. Your belly was gorgeous! You were glowing!
thank you @lymepoet xx
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