LOOK AT ME!

in ecotrain •  last month  (edited)

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As the mother of 3 girls, I can't help but worry about the way in which the media likes to depict women. How in the music industry how you look seems to dictate how successful you become. I know that I am probably thinking along the same lines as my mother did when she caught me listening to Madonna when I was growing up!

But as raunchy as Madonna may have come across, she is nothing compared to what I see now on youtube. It makes me think of a post I read recently by @derangedvisions where he wrote about the music his son listens too and how he just doesn't get it. But then his dad didn't get the music he listened too. Neither did my parents understand some of the music I listened too.

But this goes further that just the music that is out there. I look at teenagers around me, even here nestled in the mountains and the music they listen to , the way they dress, it is all very sexualised. Yes I know sex sells, but it really only represents one side of a women. And to focus so much on someone's body image really creates insecurities, competition and as a result segregation amongst girls/women.

My oldest daughter is 10 and she has already started to make comments about her weight and especially how her stomach looks. I have always talked about how amazing our bodies. I have always focused more on how important it is to eat healthily and to be active, so that our bodies can function to their best ability.

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At the end of the day, what we consume effects how we feel physically and mentally.

I like to talk with them about how important it is to see the uniqueness in everyone. How we all come in different shapes and sizes, basically contracting everything that the media says and portrays.

But even more important than that, is how they see me and the relationship I have with my body. Because at the end of the day that will leave more of an impression on them. I can say all of the above, but unless I am actually practicing what I preach, then my words are empty, they mean nothing.

I know that I can not protect them from the world that they were born into. But I will do my best to help empower them, so that they know that they are wonderful just the way they are.

I really want to bring our attention, to the fact that many of us don't really see our bodies, for all the amazing things they do. We can get so side tracked by the outer appearance and forget how bloody amazing they are.

So remember that everyday is the day to celebrate our bodies, to acknowledge how magical they are and show them the respect they deserve, so that our children have no hang ups about theirs, so that they embrace who they are and go out into the world, feeling confident about who they are becoming.


8 Pillars of TribeSteemUp



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When I read your post, this recent article titled "The wildness of girlhood" came to mind. I immediately thought of you @trucklife-family and @riverflows when I read it. I have so much to say on this topic but I'll let the article speak for me. xx

https://overland.org.au/2019/07/the-wildness-of-girlhood/?fbclid=IwAR3nrRknmeX0RNK1TzceBP5L-ZupbTFf9eo30KqCU3impeu0LlfZ79s62_U

Oh my goodness. That article!!! It really spoke to me. I was that girl! I recall me and my girlfriend riding naked bareback on the beach SCREAMING and WAILING like wild things, skinny dippping under the full moon. I never complete lost my wildness. Its why I never feel I fit in. We carry such burdens, us woman.

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It also reminded me to order a couple of Mary Oliver books, I always wanted to read her.

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being a father and seeing all this negative music going around it's something that i don't get (cuz im not a dad.) but im 19 and i simply sometimes don't understand why is that emptiness on people souls that they filled with this music, i had to disconect a lot from friends that they are this music personification and simply it's not a thing that i will carry on my life.

I had an interesting conversation with my 18 year old recently. She always seemed fairly okay with her body image and it was only when she filled out she started to worry she was getting fat. Not so much now that she had gotten used to her new adult figure, but one thing she said stood out for me. She was always a very skinny child, which she managed to be okay with because her dimensions matched those that are supposed to be desirable for models. Of course when she filled out to normal adult dimensions, her hips, bottom and her bust grew, but she still has a small waist. A figure that many would class as very desirable, because it's shapely. Now she realises that having a model figure is actually not necessarily a healthy adult figure and unrealistic for the majority of the population. She just hates her skin now. You can't win!

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it's tough, so much in society still confirms directly or indirectly that women have a shelf life and limited value. Has she read any of the Rebel Girls stories? Taking the focus off of the physical appearance and putting it onto other achievements might help.
I put a lot of thought into this because my own child is trans so she deals with some level of body dysmorphia. I want to make her feel comfortable in her own skin no matter which path she chooses in life. As far as I can tell it's working because he body doesn't seem to cause her distress anymore, puberty may change that though

My Mum tried her best to NOT give us hang ups but she was always dieting and unhappy with her weight so that rubbed off on me. One thing she did instil was NOT to diet, just eat healthily and I have always done that. Media has a lot to answer for. I love my body now but it took a long time. If only i had have celebrated it at say 22 when it was less wrinkled ahahaha!!! Hubby thinks Im GORGEOUS, but we need to see that ourselves and not define ourselves through others. The yoga world is pretty awful with that but its learning. Still, people say 'she has such a good yoga body'... what??? Dont I??? If you have a body isnt it a good yoga body lol? Same with everything. Bodies are all beautiful.

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It's such a fine line to walk as a mom - to encourage health and exercise and great choices whilst not supporting the cultural 'thing' that is all about the look. You're still in the easy stage at 10 - man, I would love to talk to you when she is almost 15, like my girl is. Things just got a whole lot tougher about bodies and body image the last couple of years!


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