Jelsa Mommy Chapter 3

Here's the next installment of Jelsa. This is the last one I'll be posting on Steemit. I've decided to publish it, and from what I understand, I won't be able to do that if it's available for free on the blockchain. So, post below if you want to be informed when it's ready or if you're willing to help with editing or if you have any publishing connections or self publishing suggestions. Thanks for all the support and encouragement! If you'd like to catch up, here's chapter 1 and chapter 2.

Jelsa’s heart was singing as she pulled the lasagna from the oven. She could hear her mother singing loudly with Aubrey, undoubtedly doing most of the cleaning for him. The lasagna smelled absolutely heavenly, and she was incredibly glad, once again, for Jayna. The community hadn’t turned out exactly like they had envisioned it, and there had definitely been struggles, some of them fairly ugly, but these were the times when she was most glad for it. Every birth, every death, every holiday - they were always there to support each other. She hadn’t cooked for at least two weeks after the birth of all the last four children.

With that sweet honey in her heart, she was putting a bowl of shredded parmesan and the shaker of hot pepper flakes on the table, smiling at the sounds of her crazy mother. As she went to pull a stack of plates from the dishwasher, the doorbell rang again. This time she was sure it was Aiden. She wiped her hands on her pants and walked in the living room. The children all looked a little terrified.

The bots brought him in on a special table that had the included freeze packs that would keep him from getting stinky. He was covered by a canvas cloth, and there was a space all around him where they could put flowers or special trinkets. She signed on the bot screen that the table could be picked up in three days’ time.

When the bots were gone, she asked the children if they wanted to see him. They creeped slowly over to the table as though there was a snake underneath. She asked Aubrey if he wanted to see daddy. Aubrey looked at her quizically again. “Daddy is in the spirit world, mommy. He’s not there.” Alydia started weeping quietly. Nana was rubbing Alydia’s back, so Jelsa scooped up Aubrey. “You’re right, sweetheart. He’s not really here. It’s just his body.” He looked even more confused but then seemed to decide it was worth it just to satisfy his curiosity.

Jelsa slowly pulled back the sheet. Jade almost immediately turned away. Alydia buried her head in his chest and sobbed. Again Jelsa felt deeply sorry for her children and guilty for the emptiness of her own feelings. Shalisa looked somewhere between shocked and horrified. Jelsa was touching her face and asking her if she was ok. Shalisa was notorious for stuffing her feelings. Her lip trembled, so she handed Aubrey to Jade and knelt down to hug Shalisa. “It’s not fair, mommy. Daddy was a good person. He didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t break any of the laws. Why did they kill him?”

Jelsa took a deep breath and was trying to figure out exactly how to answer that question when she looked up to see Aubrey leaning over Aiden whispering to him. Jade was still holding him and looked pretty freaked out but was definitely trying to listen. Aubrey was giggling and then gave Aiden a kiss on his forehead then sat up and gave Jade a big hug. Alydia, whose head was still on Aiden’s chest though she had stopped sobbing, stood up, wrapped her arms around them both and started crying again. Jade looked like he was finally going to cry too, but when Alydia stood up, she had pulled back the sheet further revealing the absurd green polo Jelsa had seen in the dead zone. Jade’s quivering lip quickly shifted to his famous enormous smile. It was just like Aiden’s smile. Jade was soon doubled over in laughter and had to put Aubrey down on the floor. Aubrey, who had never really stopped smiling, was delighted to see someone join his game. Alydia looked at him reproachfully but then turned to see the shirt. She found a half smile but looked back to Jade and just sighed, “Honestly!”

Jelsa could only find a half smile as well, so she sent them to the kitchen to eat so she could change him into something slightly less ridiculous looking. She suddenly remembered Shalisa’s question and grabbed her just before she hit the kitchen door. She still looked incredibly sullen. Jelsa knelt down in front of her and tried again to find the right words. Shalisa had an incredibly powerful sense of justice. Fairness was of the utmost importance to her, and the lack of it seemed almost impossible for her to even understand. That was a tough path in this day and age. As she stared in her daughter’s penetrating eyes, she suddenly remembered the pictures and all the friends that had been murdered by this government, and she felt the rage building up in the pit of her belly once again. Deep breath, Jelsa, she thought.

“Sweetheart. I am going to be very honest with you right now. You know this government has basically waged war on us, right? Even if Daddy had broken a law, that wouldn’t justify this. Most of the laws are unfair to begin with. People should be able to speak out against the government. They should be able to go were they want when they want and speak out against injustice.” Shalisa looked a little confused, and Jelsa realized she was descending into a righteous monologue and decided to dial it back a hair. “Look, sweetheart. They didn’t kill daddy on purpose. They said they were trying to bomb a rebellion stronghold, and Daddy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But the fact they didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t really excuse it. They shouldn’t be dropping bombs on the rebels in the first damn place. It’s just how it is living in war. Shitty people doing shitty things hurting regular people trying to live their lives. This is why we have to change things.” Shalisa looked a little surprised, and indeed, Jelsa felt rather surprised. She had pretty well divorced herself from the rebellion long, long ago, but something was changing. She kissed Shalisa on the head and sent her to the kitchen with Nana and her siblings and returned to the table with Aiden. She rubbed her hands through his hair and gave him what she knew would be the last kiss and started to push the hovering table up the stairs to change the ridiculous shirt.

As she rifled through his horribly messy drawers, still a hint of the irritation at how messy he always was, she realized how hard it was to pick out what someone should be buried in. Honestly, it wasn’t that the polo was ugly really. Polo’s look perfectly lovely on a lot of people. It just wasn’t even remotely Aiden’s style. He had nice dress shirts, of course, many of which he looked absolutely gorgeous in, but that wasn’t exactly his style either. She realized she hadn’t been paying attention, was totally lost in her thoughts, and had reached the bottom and back of his shirt drawer though she hadn’t really looked at any of them. Just then she saw a shirt shoved back in the corner. It was pale blue, and she knew exactly what it was and that it was for sure the right choice. An old familiar feeling of orneriness was creeping in, something she hadn’t felt in quite a while. She changed him into the old t-shirt which was no small task. It was also incredibly surreal. His body was stiff and cold. Amazingly the t-shirt still fit him. He had just a hint of a belly now, but it actually looked really cute in the shirt. She pushed the table back down to the living room, incredibly satisfied with herself, and joined the rest in the kitchen.

Luckily they knew better than to eat the whole pan of lasagna without saving her any, but they hadn’t left an incredibly generous portion. No matter, Jayna’s lasagna was incredibly rich. She was sufficiently full after the last bite and was watching Jade polish off a pint of ice cream after two pieces of lasagna. What teenage boys do with all that food they put in their bodies was a mystery to Jelsa. Suddenly a deep voice pulled her from her dumbfounded stare. “Nice t-shirt choice, mama.” “Jack!” she squeeled

His eyes were swolen, and his face was blotchy, but there was a smile on his face. “Oh sweetheart. How did you get home so soon? I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow. Did you get the message from Felicia? How are you? How are things going? Oh, I’m so glad to see you, sweetheart. We can talk more later. I know Nana’s right behind me waiting to get her hugs too.”

As Nana swept Jack into her enormous arms, Alydia came closer to Jelsa, one eyebrow raised. “Are you sure that shirt is a good idea, Mom? I mean, not only is ‘Fight the Power’ a banned phrase, but the fist is a banned symbol. It feels like you’re inviting trouble.” Jelsa pondered this. She appreciated Alydia’s counsel. She was level-headed in ways Jelsa could never hope to be, but Jelsa was tired of being scared into obedience. She had kept quiet for far too long. She had, of course, been trying to protect her children all these years, but some kind of fire was lighting up again, and she was tired of just towing the line. She looked closely at Alydia, “Honey, I can’t stay quiet for much longer.” Seeing this did not make Alydia feel better at all, she added, “Besides. Who’s gonna be here? Our friends. Some people from the shop. Most of the family will not show up, and those who do will hopefully feel enough shame to keep their stupid mouths shut.”

Alydia looked slightly relieved, but Jelsa felt worse. It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about potential family that could show up. She had been thinking about it since they had gotten the news, but she had lots of other things to think about too. Now the time was drawing nigh, and she had to face in-laws and even some of her own siblings in addition to the ceremony and burial of her husband of more than 20 years. She was really dreading the whole thing. Then she looked at all the dishes on the table and the counter and sighed once more. Nana had been talking Jack’s ear off about all her adventures while Aubrey was literally standing on Jack’s head singing fabulous songs about him. Nana didn’t miss Jelsa’s sigh, though, and stopped mid sentence to tell Jelsa to not even think about those dishes. She shooed them all from the kitchen and started going to town. She was really almost literally a hurricane.

Jade was sitting on the couch staring at Aiden as though he was trying to decide how to move forward. Shalisa was once again asleep on his lap. Jack sat down beside him, and Jelsa picked Shalisa up to carry her to bed. Normally she would wake her and make her walk too bed. At 10 she was quite heavy, but it was nice to hold her close again. She was supposed to be the youngest and had been for 7 years. Aubrey was a surprise to everyone, but Shalisa had taken it with incredible grace. She adored Aubrey in fact. Jelsa held her tight, kissed her cheek and smelled her sweet hair. As she laid her in her bed, she turned to Jelsa sleepily and said, “I love you, mommy. And I think you picked the right shirt. Fight the power.” She held her small fist in the air. Jelsa smiled and with the millionth tear of the day dripping down her cheek, she thanked her beautiful daughter.

As she made her way back to the living room, she passed her mother in the hall. How she was already done with the dishes was hard to fathom, but not really surprising. She wore out earlier these days. She looked a bit weary, and Jelsa realized the traveling, intensity, and time with kids was probably a lot for her at this point. She was damn near 70. Jelsa sent Miriam to sleep in Jelsa’s bed with a big hug and a quick kiss, “It’s fine, Mom. As long as you don’t mind Aubrey’s feet in the back of your head.” Miriam raised her eyebrows and said, “Can’t be any worse than you were.”

As she finally got to the top of the stairs, she heard Jack telling Jade, “I feel you, brother, but you have to wait another year at least. Besides, Mom is going to need you.” She could feel Jade’s sullen mood from the top of the stairs as he said, “Mom is fine. She’s a warrior. I can’t let Dad’s murder go. I have to do something. If we don’t stand up, this oppression is never going to end.”

Jelsa kicked a toy on the stairs to let them know she was heading down. Aubrey was still basically jumping on Jack’s head periodically hollering, “Jack’s home,” but he was at least starting to rub his eyes. Alydia was curled in her favorite chair writing with an actual pen and paper. She was an old school and old fashioned kind of girl with an incredible gift for storytelling. Jelsa sat down on the other side of Jade and put her arm around him. “I know you find this hard to believe, but I don’t plan to just sit here and accept this. I’m tired of it too, Jade, and I intend to fight it in my own way. I’d love to have your help.” He shrugged and said, “Of course, Mom,” but he was just sure whatever she would do would be lame, so he sulked off to his room. Aubrey shifted to Alydia’s lap as he got more tired, and they were both soon asleep.

Jelsa had been waiting to have a moment with Jack. Now more than ever, or at least in a very long time, she was interested to know the status of the resistance. Jack began, “Well, I actually have a lot to tell you, mom. You may or may not like all of what I have to say. Perhaps a pint of ice cream would be nice.” Jelsa screwed up her face and told him that Jade had polished off the ice cream but that Jayna had left both brownies and cookies, and she was pretty sure Jade hadn’t seen them yet.

As she got back with four brownies, two cookies, and two big glasses of milk. Jack’s eyes lit up, “Indeed. This will make this conversation more fun.” After two bites with eyes closed, he started again, “The first thing I have to tell you is the hardest. The reason I got home so quickly is because I didn’t hear about Dad’s death from Felicia. Dad wasn’t in the wrong place at the wrong time. He’s been back in the resistance for years now. He had already been back more than two years when I joined. He’s of course been more like support because he wanted to keep living at home, but he’s really been invaluable. He was able to pass messages as well as supplies and crpyto from the shop. I have no idea who or how, but it sure seems like someone ratted him out. He just didn’t want to tell you, mom, because he felt like the less you knew the better.”

Jelsa had a wild mix of emotions about this. She felt huffy that he hadn’t told her. Angry that he had defied the decision they had made together to stay out of it until the kids were grown. Yet proud that he had been doing what he could to support the cause. Then angry again that had landed his dumb ass dead. Ultimately she decided it didn’t matter because here they were. What was done was done. “Alright,” she said, “I’m in the process of making peace with that. I’m really glad you told me, but please don’t tell your siblings. Especially Jade. So, what’s the rest of the news? Is there any kind of progress? It sure doesn’t feel like it up here. A lot more people have been arrested.”

Jack paused as though he wasn’t sure where to start. “Well, ultimately we feel that the chaos out here in public is probably a good sign. We’ve done a decent job at rattling them. They’re trying to infiltrate, and of course shut us down, but we are finally running a tight ship. We have pretty well eliminated all leaks. And we have figured out how to target them where it really hurts. We have an incredible team of hackers who have put a serious dent in the crypto of some key people. We have also found out who in the government and police are connected to the nazis and are systematically eliminating them.” Jelsa sighed, absolutely exasperated. Same shit. Different generation. “Don’t roll your eyes, mom. How are we going to get rid of them if we don’t kill them? Anyway. We’re also really close to figuring out who’s really pulling the strings. I mean, we have always known who the wealthiest are, but that’s not totally the same list as who really has the power. Those people have to be destroyed for sure.”

Much to her own frustration, Jelsa found this news driving her even closer to getting involved again. I mean, really, she thought. What in the world?! How could it still be such a clusterfuck. Jelsa now had a series of questions. “So, who’s in charge?”

Now Jack looked irritated. “For the love of God, mom. No one’s in charge. We’re anarchists.” Jelsa rolled her eyes feeling like she was immediately being transported back 25 years. “You know what I mean, Jack. Who does the talking? Who’s leading the missions? Who’s directing? And what about unity? Are a variety of voices being heard, especially the marginalized ones? Are everyone’s concerns being addressed? Is anyone making any effort to connect to the poor and ignorant, or are we still happily elitist? Is there any effort to connect to the masses up here in the mainstream? Maybe you don’t like them, but you need them. Where is the media effort?”

Jack now looked both irritated and dumbfounded. Jelsa had never really given him any indication that she knew much about the resistance or had given it much thought. Of course he knew she had been a part of the resistance way back in the beginning, but she almost never talked about it, and she had asked him almost nothing in the two years he had been involved. She had been quite clear that the less she knew, the better. Now, here’s this crazy barrage of questions. He had heard them all before from other people, and of course they had talked about all of it, but the truth was that it was still pretty disorganized, even if it was getting better.

He gave it a go. “Well, you know there are still some issues, Mom. I guess they’re similar to way back in the day. I think the situation is better for people of color because that’s such a central motivation of the movement. I feel heard as a POC. Honestly, though, it’s mostly white guys running the show. There sure as shit aren’t many women involved. As far as ignorant trash that believe what the government tells them about the resistance, anarchists, POC, whatever, there’s still a fair amount of dissent about whether trying to connect to them is wise or necessary or even possible. As far as the liberal masses, there’s no one who wants to get near them, and I can’t imagine why you would either. They’re the ones that sold out your generation. They’re heartless, soulless, lazy fuckers. Fuck them. With the elite gone, they will join us simply because we’re the winning team. AND we have loads of information spreading around through tons of holo networks. Mostly, though, I think those are kind of preaching to the choir.”

Jelsa put an arm around Jack’s shoulder and kissed his head. This sweet, gentle, powerful soul that had made her a mother. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m attacking you, sweetheart. I’m very proud of you for what you’re doing, even if I have different ideas on tactics. I think the movement needs a variety of paths leading to the same goal. You’re doing something to lead us out of the darkness, and I’m grateful for it. If you’re right about the changing tide, it’s going to get even more dangerous. I know I don’t need to say it, but please be careful.”

Jelsa woke suddenly on the couch to see Jack picking Aubrey up in his arms to carry him to bed. He saw her jolt and told her he would put Aubrey in the bed with him. His eyes were glistening as he said, “I really miss him, mom. I miss all of you so much. I really hope we can come out on the other side of this. I just can’t believe Dad is gone.” With a sigh and a quivering lip, he headed for the stairs with Aubrey’s head bobbing on his shoulder. Jelsa woke Alydia and sent her to bed, said goodnight to Aiden, squeezing his cold hand, turned out the lights and crawled into bed beside her mama. She couldn’t even remember the last time that had happened. It was nice to fall asleep smelling the sweet smell of Miriam.