I can relate, perhaps more than I care to admit. I know that feeling, that internal chatter. That self defeating voice wanting from others what comes only from self. Then you can do or not do without fear of rejection or negative thoughts. When I finally woke up to the fact that other people are going to think and say what they are going to think and sat regardless of what we do, then it started to free me from the need to please, slowly.

Mindfulness and meditation did play a role also. Good write up about what goes on in this issue.