What does Respect mean to ME? @EcoTrain QOTW
@ecotrain has come up with yet another thoughtful question and this week it is all about RESPECT
For me the word RESPECT has multiple branches. Starting first with my own-self. My own self-respect. Outside influences do hamper our life to an extent but if the Inside is only not sorted and weak then I believe the outside influences can bring me down within seconds.
I have also been going through something disturbing in the last few days
I have been having a little bit of emotional turmoil with some friends. Guess it's the energy that is making things go haywire. Everyone is acting weird, may be for them they may also be thinking the same about me. But I see them throwing tantrums, coming up with all sorts of moods and also some taunting here and there. I was taking it for sometime thinking I have a better understanding I should behave maturely and let go off. In the last 1 month couple of times I tried to sort it out by having some honest conversations but it just does not seem to be working. So I have decided to distance myself out from all of those and keep myself away. For sure everyone has a right to behave the way they desire but my whole point is boss not on ME. I am not your guinea pig to take any shit. I have my own Self-Respect and I am not coming to you again and again to sort out matters. My Husband feels it is my Ego but for me I have made several attempts but if you want to act funny then you can keep it to yourself is my attitude. Of-course these people have helped me a lot and so have I in times of need but that does not mean they or even in that case myself have the right to take either of us for granted and behave in an undesirable manner.
It does disturb me a lot, but I know in a few days I will get over it. People come and go in life with all the possible lessons we need to learn, so it is all a part of learning. Personally when someone attacks me in this manner I prefer to openly sort it out and if it does not work then be quiet and completely distance out from the person. There is a very thin line between self-respect and EGO. I don't think defending your own-self is Ego. I would never accept that someone would come over and over again and sabotage my peace of mind with their behavior and words. If some one ill treats me I will for surely kick them out, then whatever people around me thinks I do not care.
Generally one loses Respect if one has a dichotomy in Thoughts, Words and Action but trust me it is not always like that. It is also the behavior and the upbringing of the person which to an extent also decides how the person treats another person. You may be a Saint and still there will be some who will not Respect you and criticize you. Problem is not you, problem is that person and sometimes the root of the problem will be originating from the family and environment that the person is in.
Source
Being Conscious and Mindful about Self behavior is the way I demonstrate my own Respect
However good and right you are some people will always have a problem with you, this is what I have experienced in life. So I have decided that the only thing that matters to me is my own behavior and does it approve to me. If I am aligned with my consciousness then what others say to me and how others treat me does not really matter much. Yes temporarily it does take me down but I am able to detach as quickly as possible also. Having no dichotomy in my Thoughts, words and Actions is another one thing that I am mindful about.
Who Do I Respect?
If I have to individualize then the people I respect in my life are My Son, Husband, My Yoga and Crystal Therapy Teachers, A few Friends.
If I have to generalize then it is all those people who are honest and open in what they have to say. People who genuinely care for others without any expectation, people who do not gossip and backbite, Selfless people who are always there for others, Those who treat others with Dignity, People without any malice in their heart.
Something personal that I will share. Around 15 years ago between me and my husband we were having some serious problems going on and in that we both had gone into different directions. we both made mistakes. In our hearts we knew that no matter what, we do not want to separate so we were trying to work out on things. In those times my Husband once told me that "I know what type of a person I am, but I had lot of Respect for you and I never expected that you would behave like this" It gave me a lot of discomfort then about my behavior and I was also feeling ashamed but then what was done was done and from then till now this has always been on my mind and I decided that I will never give an opportunity to him or to anyone in my life to ever make this statement to me again and yes till date I have never given that opportunity to anyone. I have earned my Respect back from him and from everyone around me.
Rest some idiots will always be there who try to put me down but as I said I care a damn for them, they don't really mean anything to me nor does their judgement or opinions because it is as weak as them. I know where I stand in life today and how I have earned it, these weak minds cannot shake me up in any way with their feeble thoughts and behavior. You can call it my Pride or Ego or whatever but for me it is my Respect that I have earned and build up for myself.
Life is so Short and Beautiful, I do not understand why people complicate it so much with all unnecessary things and make it unpleasant and ugly. Love and Respect are the basic necessities of life. Everything in this Universe needs to be Respected. Living or Non-living.
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Most of the time sadly respect is given to you by people because you have fat pockets especially if you have a good position in society @nainaztengra
Yes my friend what you are saying is right but such Respects are very short lived and they change very fast, so never bother for them. People who behave like that are also very shallow so they should not mean anything to you.
Mmmm. its called boundaries.. and you are setting them well. Yes it is selfish, and an appropriate time to be so. If you arent feeling good around someone i think its a good idea to limit your time with them.. simple really!
thanks as always for fantastic post!
x
Yes, it's very simple and easy, just put it into practice and I am sure you will feel free :-)