Oh my how this describes me:

Out here I feel beautiful without even thinking about it. Hair wild and uncombed, ragged cut off shorts and a t-shirt that's older than my son. My legs might be shaved ...or not and there is inevitably dirt under my nails. Around the bright lights of a city I feel tatty and worn. I feel insecure. I am a misfit who is anxiously digging out my old war paint and nice clothing so I can masquerade as someone who belongs.

I'm actually really looking forward to my own upcoming trip across country--the part of it where I can run around and explore on my own time. But I'm stressing about the day of the ceremony. What will I wear, are my current clothes acceptable or do I go shopping? should I buy at least some mascara?! and what the heck am I going to do with my hair?!?! It feels crazy when I write it down but I don't give a hoot what I look like around here. My family thinks I'm beautiful and that's good enough and it should be all that matters. But I too feel some creeping insecurity I haven't felt in years! So all I have is commiseration and hugs...and the mentality that if people are judgy, well that's their problem.