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_{“Beside the river there are two things you never forget, that the moment you look at a river that moment has already passed, and that everything is on its way somewhere else.” - Niall Williams, History of the Rain}

_{"I like to float on a river, look at things going by, and eat cookies" -dds}

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The Eclipse Chronicles Continues

To catch up with the story, here are the first two installments:
Eclipse Chronicles Part I: Prelude To A Trip
The Eclipse Chronicles Part II: Day 1.25

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"Meanwhile"

The cookies safe once more, we climbed back into the boat and paddled down the river, on to our destiny with the Line of Totality and the Eclipsing Sun. It was at this next stop, looking for a camping spot on The Island Gigantica, that we made a couple of amazingly important discoveries. ~ From: The Eclipse Chronicles -Day 1.25

Where Can A Guy Pitch A Tent Around Here?

We 'wandered' on down the river as fast as the meandering current would take us, as we were 'rapidly' approaching our final destination of the trip. If you can call bobbing, fishing, snacking, chatting, and in-general lazing on a floating freight-barge disguised as a 18' Grumman canoe, rapidly going ANYWHERE.

It was at about this time that the next large obstacle reared up and clamped a firm grip onto the Eclipse Chronicle posteriori. The trusty river map showed our penciled-in Line of Totality coming up very soon along 'river left'. Since traversing UP-stream on a river is difficult at best, we decided to check out the camping situation earlier than expected, before traveling any further downstream.

We beached our canoe on a huge island, aptly named (by us), Island Gigantica. A spit of land divided from the rest of the Terra Firma by a miniature tributary of the main river. I'm pretty sure this qualifies it as an island. And since I'm writing the story...we're calling it an island.

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Robinia - Keeping Watch On The Snacks Again-As We Explore Island Gigantica For Sleeping Potential

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From a distance, the whole expanse looked incredibly lush, green and inviting...complete with stark-white beaches to cavort upon... happily beaming toward us across the water like a TV star's heavily-bleached smile. However, once we landed and wandered about, the easy camping situation took a hard left turn down the exit ramp, accompanied by a huge sign reading NOW LEAVING JOYVILLE.

The ground was downright NASTY. Merely walking about on the island was brutal. The whole thing was made up of large cobbles (round rocks), without an ounce of flat, sandy soil to call home for our tent. Downed logs, some 4 feet in diameter, cris-crossed and piled up onto one another throughout the willow-covered island in all manner of Pick-Up Stick orientations.

We were thoroughly bummed! Luckily, we had more 'river ground' to cover before our final destination. But not THAT much. One question weighed heavily on our minds, in the sweat-filled air. What if we couldn't find a good camping spot along the line? How far would we have to drift downriver from our ideal sun viewing location, until flat ground was reached? Not a possibility any of us had considered until that moment.

Wandering the island, pondering this conundrum, brought up a whole series of thoughts about camping on a river. Which I will now regale you with in rapt detail. The THEORY of finding a good spot to call camp is quite real and inviting on a river trip. BECAUSE it's a river. Flowing water, gorgeous scenery, and promise of certain paradise along a uni-directional travel-way of bliss. But, by that very nature of BEING a living, constantly changing waterway, the simple idea of camping morphs into something much much more complex. In many, many ways.

Please, Do Tell...

A-Camping We Shall Go: The Most Difficult Search For A Perfect Spot

Typical River Scenario - A Snapshot Of Deep, Dark Reality...

...And A Complex Explanation Set For A Simple Concept

Why Not Play Houseboat

When good, flat, comfy ground is at a premium, I suppose one COULD sleep in the boat. But a canoe is NOT a pontoon boat, and when you pack the kitchen sink, as well as all the other important stuff, there is no ROOM in the skinny canoe for three people to lay down. Sometimes there's not enough space to even sit upright. At least comfortably.

Plus, this is a RIVER. They flow downhill, ALL the time. There's a good chance you will wake up the next morning in Eastern Wheretheheckistan, or worse, down in Davy Jones' Locker*, "pushin' up crawdads." And if that's not reason enough, I get both sea and freshwater-sick sleeping out on the water in a rocking boat. So only dry land will do. Which leads us to our multiple camping conundrii of the river. Maybe impediment is a better way to put it, since I think that is actually in the dictionary.

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Impediment No. 1

Major Flooding = Mondo Cliffs To Scale

Though mellow now, this is a wild river in the winter. And due to this action, there are HUGE banks and cliffs of dirt and rock along the shore. Some over 30 feet up off the river. Getting your camping gear onto the flat areas is impossible, at least without the patented, ACME® 16-Inch Gear Mortar, and those are expensive, and tend to upset the tippy canoe during launch. So...you have to find a place that is accessible. And climbable. Without falling in the river when exiting said tippy canoe weighted down with all your good stuff.

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Impediment No. 2

The Coveted High Water Line-[Red Arrow]

The high water line is shown with the red arrow. River law states that you can legally camp anywhere BELOW that line...the place where river flooding shows itself on the landscape. Most other land above the H.W.L. for miles and miles around is private property. Which takes us to the next impediment of camp-able ground: Moving on, or becoming a scofflaw and camping up above the legal line anyway. Sometimes you get away with it...other times, not so much.

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Impediment No. 3

Farmer Jones and His Trusty, 4-10 Scattergun [Blue Dotted Arrow]

Once you find this private, accessible land, another pesky problem surfaces. The highly annoyed local landowner with his shotgun. You can't see him, but he's often there. Coming in from behind the trees-at the dotted blue arrow. Just WAITING for an UN-suspecting group of boat-hobo's disguised as eclipse chaser's squatting on his farm or orchard land. I haven't had it happen to me, but I also avoid camping on other folks property if I can help it.

Besides the obvious, and the added possibility of a steep fine for trespassing, getting chased out at midnight is just not that much fun. Breaking camp and packing up your boat in the dark under threat of #6 rock-salt does not add to the experience. I usually follow Johnny Law on this one.

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The legal, below high waterline area also poses some problems:

Impediment No. 4

Those Nasty Bushes and Such [Pink Arrows]

When you DO find a nice-looking area below high waterline, there is often another set of thorny and/or itchy problems to deal with. Blackberries and Poison Oak grow VERY well here. Sometimes in massive, impenetrable WALLS of vegetation. And the thought of setting up a tent in the sticker bushes, or wandering around in the Poison Oak in the dark at 2:06 AM with your pants down, searching out a bare patch of ground for a soil percolation test, is NOT my idea of fun. Finding a suitable camping spot is difficult at best in about 87% of the places along the river, due to these annoying bushes.

Which leads us to the next most obvious question.

"What about the nice beach I see in the photo above?"

Impediment No. 5

Cobbles Cobbles Everywhere-But A Singe Sandy Beach, I Cannot Spare [Green Arrow]

As mentioned above on Island Gigantica, from a distance, most of the beaches look pristine and inviting. Waft-y day dreams surface of white sands, soft places to sit or lay about and later sleep upon...a true, tent stake-pounding paradise. The reality along the river is often a bit different.

Large Swaths of Future Sand

Strong river currents move a LOT of cobbles and boulders, and physics being what it is, the stones usually end up in the flattest places along the banks. Ironically, these are also the best places to pitch a tent. Almost ALL of the 'beaches' on our river look very similar to the photo above. A moss-covered cobble field. Which is why people bring cots when camping along the river.

But we couldn't fit any more stuff in the boat, and the season was thick with annoying mosquito's, so a tent was a must. I'm not sure they even make a Thermarest cushy and fat enough for a person to sleep on such a field of huge, round stones, with or without a tent. And let's face it, canoeing the bedroom mattress all the way out here to the boonies would no doubt cause large problems at home, once you got it all wet and mossy.

In Conclusion:

Most of the areas we discovered along the way had one or more of these campsite problems to present to us. Plus, as I've mentioned about 78 times, we wanted to be as close as possible to the wondrous 'Line of Totality' for the Eclipse. Limited campsite areas made this look even less likely to happen.

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Our New Friend Is A Real BALL!

As we wandered back across Island Gigantica toward the canoe, a discovery of most EPICAL PROPORTIONS occurred in the dense willow forests near our boat. A rubbery white sphere, with black pentagon 'eyes' peered out at us from a deep, sandy well under a log. It was a soccer ball, floated down the river from WESTERN Wheretheheckistan, and deposited in the cobble and sand for us to discover. The excitement within our group arising from this incredible find was downright palpable, and erased ALL thought of the camping woes we might be facing. YES! We had a brand-spanking new companion for our voyage, and things were definitely looking up once again.
_{(Note: We found a few other 'things' on the island as well, but more on that in a future post.)}

I wedged back into my funky, center boat seat, then propped our new trip mascot in a prominent location on the gear pile, so he would have a splendid view of the river going by. Finally underway, I then christened him Wilson². In obvious deference to that inflatable friend that kept Tom Hanks moderately sane in another beach-related movie many years back, called Cast Away.

We did not have an extra life jacket on hand, but then again, being an airball, Wilson² floats pretty darn well on his own. So we just went with a DIY safety helmet instead. Figured if the river-boat cops in olive drab stopped us, we at least TRIED to act correct, regarding water safety issues for everyone in the boat.

(Note: Our new friend's name is pronounced Wilson Two, not Wilson Squared.)

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A Brief, Wilson² Gallery Of Images

Wilson² - Waiting Patiently To Join Our Merry Little Band In The Canoe

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Another Fishing Stop...Wilson² Should Fit Right In With 2/3 Of This Group

_{Sporting his safety headgear (High Tech, Eclipse-viewing Colander Device)}

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Wilson²--Ready To Lend A 'Hand', And Putting In His 2 Cents About Camping Difficulties On Island Gigantica

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Onward, Outward, Downriver, And Awayward

We paddled and floated away from Island Gigantica, and across the way downriver, discovered another nice-looking piece of river real estate. Though upon closer perusal, it too was a major cobble-field of camping delight. We drifted by, hoping that this was not our last chance to stop for the night.

And were we ever glad we DIDN'T end up on that jut of land. No sooner had we cleared the next small bend, when a plane swooped low along the river, and landed on that area we had just crossed off our camping list. How in the WORLD he or she managed to put the plane down onto the cobble 'runway' was beyond us. As was what it all meant for tomorrow's Eclipse day. We were just glad we hadn't set up our Coleman 3-person on the landing strip a half hour earlier. Thanks-be for all those uncomfortable, cobbly-rocks. Running over the tent with those fat tires would do a real number on the rip-stop.

Blue and White Plane On The Beach. A Harbinger Of Things To Come?

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Onward we paddled, to our final destination ( fingers still crossed). We rounded the next major bend in the river after the Island, the area right ON the coveted Line of Totality, and all whooped in unison, at our next, amazing discovery. No, nothing as marvelous as another Wilson², but one that would make the rest of the trip a whole lot more fun.

Stay tuned for the next installment of The Eclipse Chronicles

~ NOT Finto ~

~ To Be Continued ~

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Thanks for stopping in and viewing Day 1.50 of The Eclipse Chronicles. If you have any thoughts about river trips for a purpose, finding a fantastic new friend in the Wilderness, difficulties finding camping situations you have noted in your travels, or anything else this post reminds you of, please feel free to comment away in the spaces below. I'd love to hear from you.

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_{*Davy Jones Locker--An old old saying, about being on the bottom of the sea. Though I like the following 'bit' a whole lot better, as it is probably more apropos for this particular voyage of wayward river yayhoos:
"For some, Davy Jones represents an infamously myopic sailor named Duffer Jones, who often fell into the sea from his ship." -From Shamseer Mambra, In: Maritime History}

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Please UPVOTE, COMMENT and FOLLOW if you enjoy my works.

And go to @ddschteinn -- There's a whole lot more...

_{Posted: 09/06/2018 @ 11:52}

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Excerpts From Late-Night Conversations With A Mechanical Cat

Fact Number 92