From a slave to a master, chapter # 15 - Swan's Song of the dual love life, good vs. bad

A Memoir

Excerpt: In this post, I am preparing the ground for my future discussions about creating a non-duality reality and relationships in particular within it. Do note that the photos were chosen carefully and my message is intertwined with them.

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As we have come to learn Twin-soul is not always what we thought it to be. What we all will see in the coming years is a growing momentum towards growth and expansion. Human beings are pushed to evolve. The old psychological dogmas that we have been holding are no longer suitable for us; they are no longer as comfortable as they used to be and we have no choice but to change and move upward on the evolutionary ladder. Therefore, no matter how noble and perfect our love relationship is nowadays, there is a higher level that awaits us which cannot be ignored. This next stage is realization and there, too, we will be met by our twin souls, prince charming and princess bride.

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Do you believe in Real Love?

If you read this article you probably do. Therefore check with yourself – do you also ask for misery and dire straits? Would you relentlessly try to find the ideal figure you carry in your mind and therefore reject any potential suitors that do not match that ideal? or on the other hand, you would remain in an abusive and disastrous relationship only because you believe that the abusing spouse is your soul mate?! Be honest with yourself – do you demonstrate such a behavior that shows that you hold that mentioned belief?

In light of what I wrote in my previous article about the myth of the twin soul, you should know by now that such belief has no real ground. Once we understand that every human being has many more than a single soul-mate we can easily walk away from an unhealthy relationship. We can realize that our lives are checkered with various twin-souls that simply wait to enter our reality and reunite with us to form a deep soul bond. There is no point in tracing and looking after a specific person with a specific appearance or way of conduct because we can never know in our minds who is the next twin-soul in the queue.

Obviously, we do have a general vision regarding our ultimate lover but we should always leave room for other twin-souls whose jobs would be to prepare us towards the reunion with that ultimate lover. Even an Olympic marathon winner prepares themselves through fatiguing training and non-prestigious competitions. In the same way, we need to train our soul and prepare ourselves for the living on the same level as/with our real love.

In order to create a long-lasting happy romantic relationship; in order to find our true love whom we crave for, we must reach a status of inner completion. That is, being complete unto ourselves. When we eventually are complete persons we then will meet in an effortless and most natural way another human being who is as complete as we are to form a real love relationship.

Will that person be our other half? Not at All!

Will that person be a twin soul? Absolutely Yes and from a higher order than the twin soul that we have considered in that past as our other half.

In the next articles, I will discuss at length and in details how to reach that status of completion. I will give practical tools and specific “training modules” in order to allow each and every one of you to find and have real love.

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But an important question must be addressed first in order to taste the concept of completion:

From a moral point of view is duality good or bad? Are relationships that are based on duality – which is the case with the vast majority of the known relationships around us- doomed to fail and eventually must collapse and decay?

Albert Einstein said once that a problem can be solved only from a higher level than the one it was created at. Hence, a true answer would have to say that basically there is no such thing as wrong or right, good or bad and so Duality per-se also cannot be treated as good or bad. Rather, duality simply does not fit those who choose Real-Love. If we look around us we will see many couples who indeed have a good relationship - some even have an excellent relationship - that is based upon noble values such as thoughtfulness, loyalty, honesty, caring, giving and receiving. Although such old energy relationships that are based on duality are nice and pleasant they certainly fail to answer the demands of the contemporary generation who craves for deep romantic connection and genuine love. The people who live out such relationships would praise and glorify their spouse and would consider the duality as a wonderful thing. However, since they have been trained all their lives to observe relationships from a dual module, they are simply not fully aware yet that their frame of reference to each other is male vs. female; wife vs. husband etc. They have never had another thought pattern – the Realization paradigm - to confront them with a different way of living.

Therefore and justly so, for them, the duality is not a bad thing at all. On the other hand, to divorced men and women who have already experienced failed dualistic relationships the duality is indeed a very bad way to live by. The conclusion, therefore, is that duality is a question of fitting and appropriateness. For those who want more, it is definitely insufficient.

Sometimes a close examination of the relationship that you are in might reveal a dreadful conclusion that you are in the midst of a dualistic relationship!; that you are involved over your heads with struggle and effort and lack of progress. No matter how true that observation is a calm attitude is required. There is no point in worrying or fearing the future and it would be much better to praise yourselves for being bold enough to identify your situation in the first place and wise enough to strive for more.

It is also important not to rush things and force the change. That is if you do have a satisfying love life and a happy relationship and neither of you feels the inner urge to have something newer or deeper or grander, then perhaps it is not your time yet to move towards a non-dualistic relationship. No need to be harsh with yourself.

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If you do realize that you live a dualistic love-life remind yourself first that duality is not necessarily a bad thing and then make the intent that life would show you the way towards realization. Then be alert to the little events that will come to “poke” at you. Usually after several years of dualistic marriage one party feels the urge to expand, to learn more, to enrich him/her self. This is a sign that it’s time to move forward. In some cases, the relationship burdens one and therefore one tries to break the ties and go out of the box despite the comfort that a dual relationship has to offer.

And again, a reminder is needed

Along with the relief and content that accompany every relationship plus the security and protection that living together brings in the midst of a chaotic world such the one we witness now, one must remember that the duality still is not a stable status. Duality is a physical system that is based on fragile equilibrium and so it can be easily disturbed by any minor outside factor that penetrates it and then crashes it all together. Indeed, nowadays, perhaps those who choose to remain in a dual relationship should be considered as the brave ones.

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In the next post, I will discuss a different type of relationship - one that is non-dualistic - and how to create it.