I wish I could hug you. It's a difficult situation. My brain instantly ran to, "well why isnt he trying CBD, or cannabis products ", but as soon as you said 12 step I understood. There such a badd stigma to cannabis and its so beneficial. If you don't mind me asking what did they put you on? Don't think your failure. My daughter went through a 2 year period where she needed to be on anti-depressants. It wasn't but 2 years and she was off them. But we worked on strategies , got her active, Talking. Having her talk to a therapist because even though I am very great therapist and her and I talk all the time sometimes they need to speak to someone else. And before I knew it she was balanced out. So I have hope for you. Even if you don't. If you ever need anybody to talk to I'm here I'm like the best therapist lol. I know I go through issues of depression even though I seem extremely happy all the time and I am. But it manifest in different behaviors. Like you I don't wanna answer e-mails, make doctors appointments or pick up phone calls. I and I can't leave my door sometimes it's like I create this world making videos. But it takes 5 minutes sometimes for me to grab the door knob. I was bedridden for almost 2 years and it did something to me. A PTSD of sorts I guess. You'll be fine. Just be careful with weight gain. Not that guys care about that shit but most people gain weight. Oh and if you are open to medical grade CBD you'll have to see a doctor. Dont buy online stuff. Eh..Most is hemp derived. But it is known to help Reduce relapse rates for alcoholics it also reduces craving for alcohol. It really does. I used to drink the gosh at least 2 or 3 drinks a night. I mean I'd go a few Days but for the most part I got off work, I was a bartender. I'd have a couple of drinks of friends and. There I don't remember a time where I didn't crave something to drink any time I walked into a restaurant. It's been about three years and I've had a drink maybe 3 times. Now I myself was in and thinking about quitting drinking or anything like that . Life made me; I got ill. But the craving gone. When stress or pain or anything like that happens I never crave it. Anyways I didn't mean to write a book . I just know a lot about the subject so. Happy New Year.
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Thanks for your considered response - much appreciated. I have a lot of experience of cannabis, but it's not really open to me because of my family situation. I'm not sure whether medical-grade CBD is available in the UK; I could look into that for sure.
The doc has referred me to a therapist of sorts. I suspect it'll be all about CBT and mindfulness practice rather talking it out, if that were even possible.
I'm good with the alcohol for now - it's been 13 years, though I know it pays not to be complacent. The meetings help with that, and many other things too.
Weight-gain is also an issue for me. I'm diabetic (type 2) and instead of picking up drugs or alcohol, I turn to sugar as my go-to destructive behaviour. So although I don't crave alcohol, I still indulge in self-destructive behaviour and I do still crave the comfort of oblivion, which really just means sleeping a lot.
Part of my decision to try the meds again is because of our family situation with debt and stress; I can't be there for my wife if I'm in a hole and she feels bad that she can't help me either. So a little medical help just to get my head above the water again and I can start feeling my connection again.
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Hey your welcome. It's great that your able to subjectively step outside yourself and make the decision. I think its excellent your doing this, for your family. Putting your own hesitation aside and getting back on them. Some wont take the chance to see because they think they know. I really hope it works out for you. Keep us posted. Oh and if you've never hear of Dr. burg man.... he is a blood sugar genius by trial and error of life. He follows a ketogenic plan but he had so many interesting facts about the body, how certain things work in a way you really understand without tiring your brain.
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Thanks! Not heard of Dr Burg. Thanks for the link. I've been following Chris Kresser for a while and did his cholesterol course a few years ago. It was really good, though it did tire my brain!