We missed you! I know you have a lot going on - I was in the kitchen with @worthtrying listening and trying to be quiet as we had a little giggle fest going on.

I agree with everything you said. It would depend on the context and situation, the person. However, I say some of these same things constantly. It helps reassure and give hope and they happen to be true...there is usually a silver lining! Smile was another one on this list that I thought, 'huh?' Smile is invalidating? But, yes, it can be if said by someone using it to dismiss a feeling a person is having. It's like I was telling Pen, some of this can be construed as hyper-vigilant IMHO - I think that emotional intelligence is the key - so we don't want to 'avoid' language that makes us feel and deal with emotions either - even those feelings of invalidation. Because in the perfect world, you want to get to the place that your inner validation is stronger than outer noise.

But certainly a lot of stronger invalidation language is used that does affect people in deep and devastating ways.

I just posted a few examples from the library - it is much more detailed and enlightening to read it in it's entirety - I would have had a very, very long post so I just skimmed the surface. But I found it very useful and we've been playing with it as a family - telling each other, "You're amazing!" Look at how you ate that sugar cookie so fast, that is soooo amazing!" ;) hehe

Yes, it helps to be aware and more sensitive to how we all interact.

Much love!