All You see [Drop in the Ocean Topic: Perception ]
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Rent was due and Amy was in a panic she did not know how she was going to get the funds to pay for everything. Her landlord warned her last month that if she was not able to pay the full rent including part of what is already owed she will be put out on the street.
Times are tough Mr. Obvious
She could not allow that to happen as she knew full well it was the least expensive place she could find to live, the commute from the other areas would work out far more expensive.
..
Unsure of her next step and only having a week Amy decides that she will visit the Clinic. The last time she was there for stitches one of the attendees said they pay for people to undertake trials. She had to see if this was a viable option it is the only thing she could think of.
At the clinic, she quickly found the guy who had informed her of the trials. With a smile, he listened to her predicament. taking her with him down the brightly lit hall she looked into one of the rooms where she saw a mom with her new baby. She felt good about this, it might just save her. She smiled, looking back to see if she is still following he smiles. She caught his smile for a split second before they reached a locked door.
After he opened the door using his pass, he kept it open for her to pass first. She noticed how friendly his eyes were as she passed smiling and nodding as she passed. Waiting for him to come through and lead she glances down the new hall, even brighter than the clinic halls themselves. She continued to follow him as he started to head down the hall. Stopping at a desk he quickly got the required information from her so that may continue with the trials. He understood that sooner is better than later and said she could wait around for a few minutes as they had one starting that evening.
She was not sure what the trial was, as all the information was rather technical and being in a bind she had to take this chance now and deal with consequences later.
...
"Time to wake up Amy."
Groggily, Amy woke up but could not see and instead acknowledged that she was awake with a slight grunt of discomfort. She tried shifting her body to a more comfortable position but couldn't, nothing moved not even her toes as she wiggled them but felt no feedback.
"Recall your arrival and everything that happened after you arrived at the clinic, Amy."
The voice sounded old but patient, the voice commanded instead of asked. She felt this was something she had done before it felt like something she should be doing.
She recalled the light corridors, the attendees smile, the newborn baby and friendly eyes. She recalled waiting.
"Thank you, Amy."
....
Groggily, Amy woke up but could not hear. She could only see a paper in front of her with a bright light blinding her from seeing anything else, no matter how she tried to wander with her eyes. The paper read, "Recall your arrival and everything that happened after you arrived at the clinic, Amy."
She paused. Feeling if she could move, she panicked but something felt familiar so she focused on the task instead. She can't move which means she can't write. She can speak, she tried, her voice barely audible but the vibrations feeling familiar enough that she could trust she was saying what she meant.
She recalled the dimly lit corridors, the attendees' smirk, the stillborn baby and emotionless eyes.
.....
"Wake up Amy."
"The end is near."
Amy was already awake, eyes closed and as still as they made her be, she has been playing her arrival through her mind. It all seemed different now, she was so hopeful that this would save her but instead it will be the end of her. She could not move, yet could feel herself shaking with terror.
"You will soon be able to move again Amy. Please recall your arrival and everything that happened since then. first let us open this so you can see better."
She saw other rooms with what appeared to be blacked out windows, people in lab coats walking down the passage. The bright white everywhere, the way a clinic should be.
She recalled the dimly lit corridors, the attendees' smile, the sleeping baby, and emotionless eyes.
"Thank you. Amy."
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The trial took almost a week, the moment Amy got home she heard a knock on her door. The landlord wanted his money. She paid him in advance and smiled, as a little fuck you before closing the door. Before leaving the clinic she asked the doctor why she at first recalled everything in a positive manner. He just told her she should be wary of what she perceives.
All images my own except obviously the stupid video cover
Who cares what happened, the point is she learnt how to perceive from a new perspective. Sometimes, you're just better off not knowing. ;)
Perfect.
Hi penderis,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Thank you @curie and @gabyoraa :)
I really enjoyed the story. :) Left me wondering what the heck the trial was all about lol.
Thank you, I do think I covered it quite a bit in the comments even confusing myself at some points. Odd how something you feel is quite self-explanatory can still have a lot of reasoning and unknown to it.
To summarize from one of the comments:
Wow, that was quite a mind trip! Multiple interpretations of the same moment through the senses.
Nice addition with the music...sets the tone and mood.
I really enjoyed the imaginative elements to this and how you chose to work in different perceptions. Very creative!
I'm definitely jumping in line with @hyperbole and @dreemsteem... we must know what happened to her. What kind of trial??
Now. I know you have no intention of finishing this story... but one thing you need to learn if you are going to write like this. We are reading your stories and you can't just leave us hanging like this.
We are curious creatures and need to know what the hell happened!!! Hahaha Get to it Pen.. Please!
I think the general idea is that they gave her a drug which changes perception, making her perceive the situation in increasingly worse and more desolate ways.
But... part of the genius of this piece is the mystery, leaving out some details just adds to the overall effect.
gonna repeat the comment for dreemie...
Hi again :)
Yes, I have no intention of finishing the story as I consider it finished. :) Intentions do change, I might consider a continuation always leaving the main as is but just continuing down a new path I think @youhavewings post about e8 could very well help me get a few ideas rolling. No promises though haha.
Nice short story with a twist. I wonder what procedures were done on her in that clinic.
"Be wary with what you percieve." I think the main message of the story is for people to be conscious of how they see things as it becomes their destiny. Or in simpler terms, stay positive and things will be okay. Just like how Amy was able to pay her rent even in advance.
I felt being concerned with the procedures would take away and did not really ponder them. My only focus was the controlling of senses and in turn testing the effect on perception. Given nothing is backed by any research it was merely my way of trying to better conceptualize the difference between perspective and perception.
It can be that what we perceive may become our destiny, I think though in this case, it is more her destiny was set, whether it ends good or bad no matter what she tried to convince herself by thinking positive this would not change her actual perception. I don't think just thinking happy thoughts would have had her recall different information as this is merely her convincing herself. What I tried to convey is that she recalls different information based on new information through her experience.
I can probably comb through it and definitely clean up and focus a bit more on the sensory aspects. Also to even straighten out the thought process a bit more, I agree with your thoughts on it apart from @juliamulcahy reprimanded me about also having used positive thinking as a replacement for a positive perception or the choice to be positive by accepting and adapting. Even now I believe I might be using it incorrectly.
edit: Just to add yes she perceived the trial to be a good thing, which is then her first recall. As the experience continues this perceived good changes because it might yet be a bad thing.
I do hope I have not confused too much, Thank you for reading.
Whoah! Hahaha! Yes, you confused me all the more. Now that makes me think about my understanding of perspective vis-a-vis perception. I may be getting both wrong. 😊
There is still the question: so what was done to here during the controlling process? Now I am having the impression about hypnotism. But it is not really the exact fit to the puzzling description. So maybe you can give the twist a little shed of light. Unless you want your readers to keep guessing.
@juliamulcahy reprimanded you, yeah? I hope she then explained to you so we have one less confused people in this world. 😃
I have no recollection of ever reprimanding you Pen. Maybe you just perceived it that way. ;)
Hehehe... or maybe he's just playing cute with you. 😉
o quote and summarize from one of the comments\n\n> \n> \n> A couple of experiments aided by them drugging her.\n> Each one changed her perception of what she had experienced.\n> She recalls the same experience.\n> With different perceptions based on the circumstances (of the experimental drugs)\n\nBut may a bit of mystery would be good. Then again no matter what I say it was there are so many more interesting ways and reasons to do it.
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I agree. Sometimes suspense stories are better left as it is because that is the beauty of it. And to your point, readers can definitely play with it and pitch in their take to the story.
Hey, what happened there? I am confused and intrigued, in spite of that I enjoyed the reading and I was anxious to know how this story unfolds.
To quote and summarize from one of the comments
I could have definitely given more attention to the individual affects of her not being able to see or hear this might have gone too in depth and I instead focused on the overall effect of circumstances changing, time passing, anxiety growing and eventually a bit of relief. Which for me affects her perception of what happened and reflects her perception of what is too still occur.
The goal of the story was to separate perception from a perspective as best I can, for me to better understand the individual word and its usage. I really can't say whether I have accomplished that but we had some amazing content in the Drop in the Ocean show that do a wonderful job of further explaining the word.
Glad you enjoyed it enough to keep reading. :)
I just love everything about this story, so cool! YEP! Perception might change everything and sometimes even your life :)
Definitely, it is also something that should not be thought of naively and we should explore other perspectives to better inform our overall perception.
Agree 100%!!! This is really utmost important!!!
Well this was terrifying LOL
im with @hyperbole....
what happened!?!?!?!
I think the general idea is that they gave her a drug which changes perception, making her perceive the situation in increasingly worse and more desolate ways.
But... part of the genius of this piece is the mystery, leaving out some details just adds to the overall effect.
gonna repeat the comment for monchichi...
Well he told us in DITO hahahaha
So mystery solved. Lol
I won't ruin it for you though 😜
What?!! No!!!!
Did I get it right? Did it have something to do with the piece of paper in the second one, was it a drug?
What happened!!??
Hehehehehee what happened to wanting mystery????
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I said it adds to the effect of the writing, not that I wanted it...
Hahahahhahahahaa
Yeah 4 drugs.
4 experiments
Back to back
Each one changed her perception of what she had experienced.
Same experience... Different perceptions based on the circumstances (of the experimental drugs)
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Excellent, I guessed right.
You could have just said that...
I guess I should come next time. (Actually I usually can't at that time, but next week I might be able to drop by... we'll see what happens.) How long does DITO usually last? (The discord session)
I was running around trying to get my shopping done today for Thanksgiving and was in and out during DITO... I missed this!! Thanks Dreem! Love you!
Disappointed you gave it up so easily. Let me rephrase. I am not saying you are easy just that you gave in easily.
Haha genius or incompetence. I like the little will repeat for mon , Genius.
wow @penderis, did you plan to continue your story? Now i seriously curious she went for what medical trial. I believe she joined the trial so that she could pay her rent? In your story, you have repeated the sleeping baby, the emotionless eyes and attendees's smile. Now I wonder is it something to do with them hehehe.. I really hope you continue your story.
No, I never intend to continue with stories. Too much to consider, kind of like small details
To quote and summarize from one of the comments
The baby,eyes and smile were my way to simply explain the changes in her perception between positive and negative, I might say that the final one would be the neutral perception or generally agreed on.
As the lights dim, or the baby dies these are negative.
Friendly eyes, bright lights, baby is alive these are positive.
In the final list, I attempted a balance of both, which is a generally agreed upon reality, or perception. Sure you can still see brighter lights than others this is still your personal perception in relation to other information. It would be a warped perception I think to see a dead baby when it is instead sleeping, obviously assuming the mother is not crying or screaming.
I hope this provides some insight into what I was thinking. I would say that answering all the comments I had to also stop and think a bit about what my intention was so sure it might not all be concrete but I feel that is why I personally enjoyed writing it this way. Someone else could take the story and continue or even cover it in more detail to form something I could never have imagined.
Now i understand why you said it .
You really consider a lot in this story, what message you would like to deliver and what reader imagine when they read the story.
You always write a story with message behind it? Because as a reader, we always follow the flow of the story and seldom think of what message writer wish to deliver. But I like it to deliver message through a story, it really a new and interesting way. And I love it. But too bad, you have no intention to continue the story.
Haha, yes I considered that I had an hour to write it and how much can I avoid to put in :)
I have not really written many stories if I think quickly this would be the 3rd story but I have done a few poems which seem to be simpler if I want to avoid too many detail issues vs just conveying an idea or feeling. I might have had a bit of overlap of that into this attempt.
I have been thinking about if I would continue it or I could put a prize up for someone to either flesh out the story or continue it in a way that explains it fully. What do you think? My concern is that something like 5 steem or so is just too little for the amount of work I think it would be or I continue it in the same fashion but shorter as prompts and have them complete that at a max of 300 - 500 words. Building the story from there....
I have read some writing contest where pass on the story to some writers who like to continue it. But each writer has own writing pattern, so it may end up differently. But in other way, it interesting as well. 5 Steem actually can attract of writer to continue your story if you want. Too bad, i am lousy in writing, I just love to read only.
In another way would be as you mentioned, you can continue it slowly. Say 300-500 words per post. Then build it up chapter by chapter. Each post, you provide the link for your previous chapters. It would benefit any reader who jump into your story halfway.
These only my 2 cents thought :p
Yes definitely worth considering. Thank you for all your input.
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You are welcome. Hope to see the continuation of this story soon @penderis :)
Awesome work Pen! Your piece is very intriguing and Twilight-Zone like. I think it'll do very well in the contest. This is the most serious, dramatic thing I've seen you write in the short time I've known you. It's really good!
Thank you. I feel like I can do the intriguing because I don't think the details through. It is too damn much to consider everything lol. As for the show definitely check out the other posts on our topic of perception this week they are excellent - Drop in the Ocean posts