Transparency is the Key to Acceptance... Right?

We live in a time when social media is the norm when it comes to socializing. It seems as though my Facebook friends and Twitter followers have no problem with transparency. They don't mind sharing with you every single moment of their precious, perfect lives. They don't mind sharing with you when they're fighting with their significant other or family member or friend. They share their illnesses, their weaknesses, their strengths. They share their vacations and trips to the grocery. They share their cooking or when they go out to eat, and you are sure to get a stellar review. Happy, sad, depressed, anxious; it doesn't matter, they share, share, share. As transparent as clear glass. Always looking for that next like that signifies true acceptance… and get depressed when the notifications don't roll in. There's never a lack of drama or selfies.

I Choose to be Opaque

I will admit, despite my shame and embarrassment, I, too, have a Facebook account. I've been wanting to deactivate it for quite some time now and do not have an excuse as to why I haven't yet. There's a running joke where my husband works that we are elusive creatures and everyone wants to know what we are up to because we keep everything secret and off of facebook. We’ve always lived that way, but since the birth of facebook, somehow, we are the ones who've changed. I'm an old fashioned kinda girl and believe that most things should remain private. In the past, any time that I've opened up to someone, it always came back to bite me in the ass.

^SourceCase and Point

I was in high school when the situation with my father led to a three day trial. In the local newspaper, there were three small articles about what happened for the duration of the trial. My name was not included in order to protect my identity because I was still a minor. To this day, I'm not sure what possessed me to show those articles to someone who I thought was a friend. She decided to pass them around and made sure people knew I was a victim. This revelation showed me that back then, I had no friends. I was judged, I was bullied, made fun of, and became the outcast, the reject. With friends like that, who needs friends? I never spoke of my story to anyone after that. Even those closest to me don't know the whole story.

^SourceThe Crazy Thing Is…

My Steemian friends have been the only ones to see this newfound transparent version of myself. My transparency did not exist before joining Steemit. When I started my journey here, I figured I would post some of my writings and poems that I've written over the years. After reading some of my fellow Steemian’s posts, I decided that my old stuff just wasn't up to par. There are extremely talented people here. I struggled a bit, not knowing what to write about, and then I got the dreaded phone call about my father filing for clemency. Not wanting to burden those in my life with this, I once again, turned to my writing, but this time it was on Steemit. I became transparent, for the first time ever in my adult life. It was scary. Writing has always helped me cope with the things I’ve been through in life, and it's never been shared before. It's such a strange feeling knowing that some of you reading this know me better than some of the people I see every day.