Being Just a Drop in the Ocean: Are You Lucky Enough to Make Connections?

I am an introvert. I don’t think I was born that way. I remember being fairly outgoing as a child and not the least bit shy. As I got older, and had my own nightmarish childhood experiences, I started to retreat inside of myself. I started to dread the daily conversations of small talk. I found myself always making excuses to end the conversation. Anxiety would set in when having to speak in front of the class. My mind was total chaos when having to stand in a crowded room. I started to fall in love with my solitude. I found time alone allowed me to recharge from the daily interactions with people. Being the way I am has not allowed me to make very many connections. I have made a few, and am happy to say that I know that those few are deep and meaningful and will definitely stand the test of time.

Family/Friends/Things

Family for me, is probably different from what you define as family. The only biological family of mine that I speak to is my brother. I love him dearly but he and I do not have a connection. We have a ton in common; we are both nerds, love horror movies, and most of the time we get along great, but we don’t always see eye to eye. My brother is a “know it all” and very often confrontational. I am the opposite. Connections with my family are non-existent. Just because we have the same blood I don’t feel that makes us family, it just makes us related.

I don’t have many friends, my circle is very small. Those few in my circle are the ones I consider to be my family, and that’s where my connections lie. They are the ones that know me the best, I know they are there for me, no matter what, and they know they can expect the same from me. They can look at me and know when something is wrong, no matter how well I think I hide it. The few that I have been fortunate to make connections with, push me to be a better me. They support me in everything that I want to try to do. They put up with my shenanigans, and my hare-brained ideas. They laugh at my jokes, even when they aren’t funny and tell me that I can do anything I put my mind to. Even though I know that I will never fly a plane, they tell me I will. They check me when I start to get a little crazy, and remind me that’s not who I am. When they hurt, I hurt. Most of all, they amaze me with the way they show me that they truly know me. I haven’t been easy to get to know, I hide a lot, I don’t share matters of my past, I don’t show that I struggle, I don’t ask for help. How can you NOT have a connection with those that can hear your cry for help when all they see is a smile on your face.

I have a few items in my possession that I feel give me a connection with a few of those that I’ve lost. Two old, beat up, rusty, ugly, used pocket knives. One belonged to my Uncle, who passed away in February after losing his battle to cancer, the other one belonged to my Father in law who passed away 3 years ago. He was the first father figure I had. They carried these knives everyday. I don’t know if this is silly or not, but I feel connected to them, kind of in a spiritual way, knowing I have these items. I also have an ugly fuzzy orange blanket that my mother owned. It draped over the back of the sofa, and the evenings we would sit and watch tv, she was always snuggled up with it. When she got sick, it was a security blanket for her. She died with that blanket draped over her. It is the one thing that I have of hers. I have been able to keep track of it, by some miracle, all these years and it has now become my security blanket.

Steemit

My husband introduced me to Steemit in February. When I signed up, it was with the sole intention of helping him grow. I was not expecting what would happen after joining this platform. I am pretty cynical when it comes to people, I’ve had so many bad eggs in my life, and good people seemed few and far between. I’ve recently opened up on Steemit, and much to my surprise have made a few strong connections along the way, in such a short time. It blows my mind!! I think these special Steemians know who they are. They have welcomed me with open arms. We've laughed, we've shared, we've had late night chats. They have been there for me throughout my journey here, lighting my way. They have taken me under their wings and have shown me what a little encouragement and generosity can do. And I’m not talking generosity in upvotes or donations, I mean that’s awesome and all but I’m talking generosity; the giving of themselves and their knowledge, so freely. I think they feel the connection too.

In a world of 7 billion people, if you find a connection with one person, you are lucky. Hold on to that and never let it go.

Thanks for stopping by y'all. This is my Drop in the Ocean post for the Awesome BuddyUp community.