I was drunk; not quite visibly stumbling, but much less tense than usual. That's how it is when I drink. Probably how it goes for most people when they drink. For me, I guess, it was a little more night & day, though.

The bars 'round here always had the same faces on weekends. All of the nearly-25ers who haven't yet married, not saddled with babies in bibs as they feed them spoons of Gerber.

Idiots is what we were, some more so than others.

I'd drink 2 or 3 beers as fast as I could once I'd get to the bar to rid myself of anxiety, followed by approaching an extension of a friend, a friendly face, or a face of someone I might have recognized from high school (even if I barely knew them). Asking for a cigarette even though I don't smoke.

Chain smoking always seemed alright on a night out.

Some, I'd just make up a story and prolong the story to break the ice. "Hey, weren't you on the tennis team?".

"Erm...no".

"Yeah, you were! With Josh Jacobson and Fred Fiddlestein! You guys went to the state championship in '98".

It was always funny in my head what I'd come up with. In a way, I guess it was me finding an innocent outlet for my lifetime resentment of certain people. I was partially just messing around with whomever it may have been and maybe partially actually trying to build a friendship somehow.

It really just depended on the person. Briefly into our interaction, I'd typically be able to tell if the person was a douche or not and I'd decide where to go with my bullshitting. Most people thought it was funny and had a good laugh.

Still, I considered those nights, unless I was with my friends, mostly meaningless. They were momentary escapes and I'd return to regular life when the weekend was up.

And though I'd wake up with the unsettling stale taste of tobacco stuck on my tongue, for a night, I felt better.

Some nights, I found it funny how you could go to a local bar on the weekend 6 years after high school, see someone you used to hate or be hated by, and have a beer and laugh it off.

That's what happened to me.

It seems pointless to use his real name, so we'll call him Ian Farelli.

I met Ian when I was around 11 or 12 years old. My newly acquired step-brothers went to a private Lutheran school - as did Ian. I started finally playing baseball in local leagues and I was drafted by what was considered the laughing stock of the league.

We had purple, silly-looking jerseys and the team hadn't won a game the year prior. I befriended the coach's son and ended up finding out that he actually lived a mere block away.

Everything was going well. I spent most of my youth in day-care so it was all new and good to me.

It turned out Ian was best friends with the coach's son. Sometimes, we'd get together and play catch and he would be there or I would see Ian by association because he went to school with my step-brothers.

The kid was a total dick. A pompous suburbanite who probably had never been through anything in his life - and for whatever reason, didn't like me despite the fact that I was pretty much nice to everyone.

Made fun of our jerseys and our losing team. We'd go to the YMCA and he'd have it out for me.

I remember one time we were all on the basketball court at the YMCA and the court was completely packed with people. I knew I always had to keep an eye on this prick so I made a point to keep him in my peripherals. Sure enough, I caught a glimpse of him picking up a basketball and winding up for a throw, I knew it was coming for me.

I wanted him to know I wasn't an idiot and that, though my baseball team may have sucked before me, I had some athleticism. I timed it perfectly and turned my head right as the ball was a few feet away from me - and caught it and shook my finger.

Sure, it's immature child's play type stuff, but I had an enemy through no fault of my own.

As the next few years went by, I helped transform our team into a good team...and baseball became my "thing", but my feud with Ian never went away. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a small kid who was picked on. I was actually above average in height and stature - most people I didn't have any issues with it. Just this kid, Ian.

It wasn't only me, either. Ian was a dick literally all the time and I couldn't understand how people were friends with him. I'd like to think I've only been a jerk in life to a couple of people who didn't actually deserve it.

Fast-forward 10 years and I'd see Ian on my nights at the bar. He'd be in a group with his friends smoking cigarettes.

Finally, one night he came up to me and apologized and may have bought me a beer. I would bum a cigarette off of him, too. At the time, we called a truce and, for a moment, we were cool.

Really, I was just drunk and didn't want drama. While I don't like to fight anyway, have only really ever fought my brother, and it wasn't in my train of thought, I certainly wasn't going to have a drunk fight at a bar on a main street in a small town a few blocks away from the police station.

Ultimately, I don't know what Ian thinks. He "seems" to have changed, but only a little. I think deep down most people don't change. Only some people make genuine mistakes for real reasons while some change only because they become too weak to keep up with their nasty personality.

Turns out, he ended up with the huge-boobed town whore and they are probably going to get married. I feel like, in his eyes, he's hit the jackpot, but I sometimes question if it's karma as I'm not even sure he knows that his woman has fucked some of his best friends.

I don't think about Ian much and, when I do, it doesn't bother me. I can let go of things enough to move on, but true forgiveness tends to not exist with me unless it was something so small that would be stupid to be upset over. I think embracing hatred can be healthy if handled and channeled properly.

I'm not really religious, but I think I have somewhat of an innate feeling that most people will get what they deserve, whether good or bad. All you can really do is worry about yourself and becoming who you want to.

Footnote: You have been reading my entry into the Drop In The Ocean show hosted by the BuddyUp discord server. Each week, we decide on a word and write about what comes to our individual mind as we think about the word. This week's word was Truce. Thank you for reading.

Photo Sources: Bridge Beer, Bench Talk, Batting Gloves, Bar