That's an excellent take, thanks for participating.

I have personally been diagnosed with a Moderate major depression (F32.1) last year. I receive medication for it, but I've experienced major set backs when I've run out of those pills. It seems my brain takes a huge leap off a cliff whenever I've been a few days off. (It's also a bit unnerving to have those auditory brain twitches for withdraw symptoms.)

There's also a reason I've knowingly cut the medication short at times as it seriously affects my libido, and I want to have some relations with my wife too. Some times that has made me feel things a bit too intensely, like a pincushion really. Everything feels like the end of the world, and I've had to resume taking the pill.

I've been told I should change medication, but as this one seems to work I am too scared to take the risk that the next one doesn't work.

Changing medication also looks like a long hard road, because for that, I should first gradually come of this one, then start taking the next one in small doses. If it doesn't work, it's the same road again. Leaving a working medication feels like taking a giant leap of faith, not knowing if my depression relapses in the process.

Vitamin D is a factor probably yes, but in my case using it every winter, it didn't do too much of anything. We live relatively near to the arctic circle and the Winter days are dark, but my depression seems to get worse in the Spring when it gets lighter. I don't quite understand why.

So my "solution" is to fill my life with all kinds of activity to take my mind off the things. The problem here is, I tend to spend money and time doing trivial stuff and the bills keep coming, I forget to pay them and there's yet another dark cloud hanging over my head.

I'm thinking of a holiday, just for me. Away from everything so I could load up my batteries. The problem is I can't escape from my duties as a parent, as a husband, and that kind of makes me even more anxious.

Sometimes it feels very difficult to be me. But I'm glad that the medication takes the worst of the worst out of the equation. I can do some mundane tasks better now.