I'm Sorry For My Parents Having To Still Look-out For Me

Today is my dialysis day and I am hopefully going to be hooked-up at around 5:30 AM. It is too early but even thought the schedule was that I am still okay with it. I am also okay on whatever time I am going to receive my treatment as long as I do not get much delays since I am only getting two dialysis per week where in my own judgement I needed more.

I only have a small amount of space in my body to load-up on extra fluids so I just needed a smaller time of in-between dialysis days. But I am also factoring in the bother and trouble that I am causing my parents and my two other brothers if my father is not available to drive me time time and effort that they have to spend for me.

So I am ending-up with just twice a week session which is actually not enough for me to live a comfortable life. It has been so much time that I spent here on earth that I am uncomfortable, ailing, and in real hardship and I can't understand why I am still around despite what I am experiencing in my life.

But in the near future I will show my parents my token of appreciation if God wills it. I just hope to last that long before I do what I wanted to do in my life especially for my loved ones.

But for now most of my dreams are quite far away still to happen so I am just patiently waiting and time is only the factor now which maybe I do not have much. But at least I have a glimmer of hope that I can see already right at the distance and it is better than not having anything that could possibly lift me up from my problems. God is very kind for me and he had given me family and online friends that is shaping my life for the better right at this moment and I am thankful for that all my heart, mind, ad soul.