Psychological milestones
When I was a child I would play a silly game where for example, I would try to throw a balled up piece of paper into a bin from some distance and apply a reward to achievement. It would be nonsense things like to be a millionaire one day or something or other of a child's limited vocabulary and lack of understanding of the future.
When I missed as would inevitably happen from time to time, what I would do would be to justify the miss or make an excuse to retake the shot. The shot I would retake would nearly always come with a penalty of added distance. My reasoning was that the added difficulty would counteract the initial failure.
I am not sure if all kids do this but the earliest I can remember actively doing it, I would have been six or seven. Essentially, what it was, was wishing that my actions would somehow influence a completely unrelated experience and even at that time, I knew it was irrational. The irrationality of it would even factor into my justifications when I missed as 'It is just a silly a game that doesn't matter.'
So why play a game like that if one doesn't hope that it, actually does matter? I think it is because we like to feel that our actions do in fact make a difference in the world in which we live. To feel that we have agency over our experience and can enact a future change through what we do right now.
Of course, without some connection between our actions and that future, the likelihood of success is quite low. If I am ever a millionaire, it is not because I was able to throw a balled up piece of paper into a bin as a child. Well, not directly at any rate.
What I did realise quite young while playing that game is that it would indicate what was important to me at the time or, what I thought was important. I remember commonly changing my initial wishes pre-shot as I figured that if it did actually matter, I would have preferred it to be something other, something more significant. Why wish small?
The problem with identifying big things though means that once you realise you want it and that the game was not going to close the gap, it is going to take a lot of personal work. For example, becoming wealthy is generally not a process of wishing, it is a process of work and luck. Often, a crazy amount of work that goes on for a long, long time without reward, recognition or return and involves many costs to time, leisure and family.
This is why creating milestones are so popular of course as it breaks large tasks into smaller, more manageable units that the mind can more readily accept and process. All of these small steps can lead to some very large achievements if conscientiously adhered to but, there are also risks.
The problem with small and manageable measurements is the room for measuring errors. Imagine measuring 100 metres with a ruler a centimetre at a time. It gives 10,000 chances to be slightly wrong. But if you measure with a tape measure that is 25 metres long, it gives 4 chances to be slightly wrong. If the milestones are too close together, there is a lot of room for many small errors.
Also, there is also a lot of room for complacency as with too many milestones, the brain loses the urgency as the tasks at hand all seem relatively insignificant in the big picture of things but, they all actually have a direct affect on the final position.
Another potential issue with milestones is that we may start to put too much weighting on the achievement of them and miss alternative options. Considering that the milestone parameters were made in the past, any number of factors could arise that would warrant a reevaluation but, if connected to a set future position, this is difficult to see, let alone change.
I think that although the milestones may make us feel better by providing a sense of achievement, overall, they are actually not required especially since normally, they are based on arbitrary points that have very little to do with anything. Often, just nice round numbers that hold no special significance.
As I have aged what I have found is that most of the milestones and demands of younger me were either irrelevant or, unachievable based upon my actions moving forward from that point. Has this stopped me from dreaming of future position? Not really however, I have come to realise that they are much more wish than potential reality, even as I work toward them. The future is always unpredictable so I tend to keep my eyes wider open for feedback and alternative opportunity, than a clear path forward.
Out of all the steps into the darkness I have taken though, Steem and cryptocurrencies is the one that has the most uncertainty involved due to the lack of history it has and I have to say, I am loving it more and more each day. You can only have milestones when you have assumptions about the final destination. We may expect, hope or dream but from here on out, there are no more maps to mark the way, as we are at the edge of what is known.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
I agree completely with what you are saying. I would provide one caveat however, the game you played when you were young had other affects I would wager. Success builds on success. I believe that small successes throughout your day lead to more success as your mind gets used to succeeding. Even something as simple as making your bed. You did it. That was a success. If you look throughout your day at all the successes you had, maybe the things that were not as successful would not have as much of an impact on you. By also seeing the successes you achieve every day, you start to get used to succeeding and I truly believe that success breeds success. Just my 2 cents.
Yeah, I think you may be right. It could be an attentional difference between people about what they see in the world (success/failure etc) and perhaps it has long ranging effects. A type of marshmallow test.
I set milestones every now and then, and when I don't reach em, I beat myself up about it. Other times, I forget that they're even there, only when I get to a point in my life and I look back, do I realize that I've done something worth praising myself for.
When we look back, we can see how far we have come or, how similar in position we still may be. What I find is that people who have circular thinking generally don't get far from where they know.
Lol. I didn't know until now that some people have circular thinking. So they go around in circles, huh?
That is what I call it. Same thoughts over and over.
When a milestone is set it is based on expectation. Nothing else is taken into account, How could it, to many unknowns. If you do your best, a authentic effort, you can't do better then that. Take what you learned and do better next time.
Back then we didn't have consoles and all the other things that kept us inside. Outside was the in thing and where everything was happening. It was the only way to keep up with current events in our little circles.
This is the thing, most people don't know what their best actually is.
I remember arguing to go outside, now the argument is to stay in.
Complacency is a killer. When you look back over these periods and look what was achieved and normally it is very little. You should be doing something all the time to help you achieve goals even if it is very little. You have to move forward and complacency actually make you move backwards.
Small steps forward is the way the largest journeys are made. Instant gratification expects leaps and bounds.
I remember doing games like that too, although I didn't until reading this. I see my five year old already doing it to a degree. Unrelated to the main point of the article, but the positive beliefs associated with controlling the game - if I make this shot I'll be a millionaire, whoops, I can still fix this - could have an impact, if they stuck around. People that believe they control outcomes and stay positive seem to be more likely to succeed in their goals. If most of us start out this way, I suppose it's a matter of how beat down we get in early life.
Oooh, this is interesting. Yeah, it definitely could be an indicator, something like 'delayed gratification'. Perhaps tenacity.
The only think I expect right now is that I grow STEEM daily, by posting daily and powering up daily. It's a simple 'goal' to have and for now I can only guess what the amount of STEEM I collected since december will add to my life in a few years time.
I think it is a good plan. Worst case scenario is that it all falls to nothing, best case scenario is, there is no ceiling.
Maybe the milestones aren't as useful as we thought and give us more chances to be slightly wrong, but at least for me, if I don't set milestones at all probably I won't do anything at all. Maybe we just have to be more flexible whit them, make them more dinamic.