Descriptions on the Spot: "ESOTERIC"
I know it's a bit too late, but I've been very busy last week. I just wanted to go through some of the words in the list to show the potential of DotS to the community. Sorry @arcaneinfo if the story feels rushed and uninspired. Since this is my first shot at this, this somewhat serves as a warm up. I haven't written anything fiction-related in quite a while. I hope I do your word justice.
For the new weekly contest, check out the details right here: https://steemit.com/descriptionsonthespot/@steemwriters/weekly-contests-to-reward-fiction-writers
![town](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Bodie_Ghost_Town_Storm.jpg)
Dust rolled down across the town. The hush that fell upon it many years ago decided to take up residence. Besides the unnerving hum the abandoned houses whistled, there was only an eerie silence that, from time to time, the sound of rustling grass cut through. The air was thick, and the clouds above were perpetually gray.
In the center of the town stood a monolith that seemed to protrude from the ground. No one ever came close enough to attest how it smelled like or how it felt to the touch. From a distance, it looked as if its color was black-in-black, like it sucks the life from anything that comes near it. Not a single soul could remember when it first arrived or if it was always there and the town was just built around it.
Warm air began to rise from the ground, as droplets of water began to pour from the sky. All of a sudden, the slight drizzle turned into a heavy downpour. It's as if the heavens wept because of the abomination that stood at the center of the town. Lightning cracked among clouds, followed by a grumbling thunder, muted only by the sound of the deluge.
As the town was unceremoniously drenched, the monolith and the immediate area that surrounded it remained dry. It's as if a barrier of air prevented the rain from even coming close to it. Not a single droplet stood a chance.
![tree](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/http://www.pd4pic.com/images/tree-storm-sky-lightning-rain-weather-nature-1.jpg)
The ground trembled and the deserted domiciles swayed, while the monolith stood still, as if it was in a world of its own.
A strong bolt of lightning hammered down on a tree just beyond the horizon, splitting it right in the middle. Embers and burnt wood scattered along its side. From the ashes, a naked man knelt were the tree used to stand. The rain carried with it the excess electricity from the lightning, but the man seemed as if he felt no pain.
His features were unremarkable; tousled black hair dampened by the raging storm, eyes of ashen gray. He had scars that trace throughout his body, like how it would look on trees that were struck by lightning.
It was dark, and the rain made it particularly hard to see anything. Lightning struck again, but didn't make any contact with the ground. Thunder rolled immediately after, teasing the earth of its impending fury.
The man stood and made a beeline towards the monolith. He trudged through the rain even though he seemingly had no means of determining where the town could be located. His face was emotionless, but his eyes looked dauntless.
The monolith glowed and emitted a soft din, which became louder with every step the man took. Bright red glyphs displayed on its surface. It had a sort of unearthly nature that wasn't easily comprehensible. The barrier around it expanded slowly, pushing against anything that stood in its path. The houses gave way, and threw themselves all over the ground.
There was a connection between the strange monolith and the even stranger man. It's as if they were once part of a whole, but now opposed each other for some reason only they are privy to.
The man picked up his pace and began to ran through the muddy terrain. He flailed his arms around, scrunched up his nose and gritted his teeth. The barrier pushed against him as he made his way toward the town, but he penetrated the resistance. He held his breath as he propelled himself against the invisible barricade. His eyes swelled up with tears as he tore through the town.
The monolith's glyphs glowed more blindingly, as its din became deafening. It launched a series of bursts that slowly seared the man's flesh. The man's knees buckled, but he quickly recuperated and launched himself from the ground. His body was peppered with cuts from the wood and rubble that were tossed around.
There was something to be said about an unstoppable force going up against an immovable object. Even though he remained undaunted, the man was far from unstoppable, and even though the monolith seemed immovable, it didn't even seem like it was really there.
Inching closer to the monolith, the man crouched down then lunged towards it. The monolith consumed him whole, then folded into itself. The darkness swallowed everything around it. The ground, the sky, nothing escaped the creeping shade.
In a blink of an eye, the whole town became bustling and filled with people. Cheerful noises echoed throughout the lively township. Rain clouds gathered up above, but the impending shower didn't seem to bother anyone. Just beyond the horizon stood a boy who had wondered far from the town. He climbed up a scrawny tree to get a better view of the town, but he was too far away to see anything of note.
It startled to drizzle, and he was careful not to slip. The leaves of the tree provided him cover. He sat down on the sturdiest branch he could find and took out a lump of coal from his pocket. The boy wiped the sweat off his forehead and began to draw on the trunk.
All of a sudden, lightning struck.
Good stuff, I'll be following! This is what people are looking for here on Steemit!
Man, I really wish my upvote to your comment was worth more. Thank you for saying such nice words, you don't know how much that means. It has been very discouraging here lately, posting work you spent hours over without anyone noticing it. That's why I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on this humble work of mine. I'm glad that you feel that fiction is the way to go for Steemit! I wish there are plenty other users like you, and I wish your good will is prevalent throughout the community.
Make sure to get a chance to read other awesome posts in the #descriptionsonthespot channel! More power to you!
You got yourself a new follower! Loved reading you work and I look forward to reading more and more. Keep them coming!
I have already shared some of stories as well on my blog. Most are posted in pieces!
Thanks @poeticsnake! I hope my follow-up pieces won't disappoint #pressure :s anyway, with this kind of reception, it's surely encouraging to keep going.
I'll read your posts later, very excited to see your work. Looking forward to more of your stories as well! I'll comment on them individually. I'm sure I'll get the chance to read them all in #descriptionsonthespot :)
You sure should keep going! I already did some extra shopping for cookies and drinks, so I can stay inside and read all week, well month!
With the reception this post received, I think continuing is the only option!
I read through it and found it a really fantastic short story, especially for something you said you put together on the spot without much forethought. Got yourself a new follower! :D I'm planning on jumping into the DotS when I get home tomorrow night, so give me a follow if you'd like! Looking forward to writing something meaningful in this community!
Will definitely keep a look out for your work @anarcho-andrei, I can't wait to see what you come up with! Feel free to join the #descriptionsonthespot channel on steemit.chat :)
I'm not entirely satisfied with what I wrote, but I'm glad some people enjoy it. I really hope I did the word "esoteric" justice. Since it's defined as "intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest", it was challenging and easy to write at the same time. I love narrating details, but I also love making readers think about what's going on. I made it so that readers draw their own conclusions of what's going on.
I love the effort you put into this. The details are very vivid and the pace is well-written. It's like you're pulling from past experience, I can feel the emotion flow through the words. Looking forward to reading more of your entries!
Thank you very much! I appreciate you taking the time to take it all in. With regard to the emotion, I'm glad that the writing really evoked what I was feeling. That's always my goal when I write. I want people to feel what I want them to feel, how the story intends to be interpreted. Sticking with the word "ESOTERIC", I wanted to really make the readers ask what's going on. It's a very intriguing challenge. I want to say a lot, while at the same time leave things open for interpretation. I really hope the story lived up to being esoteric.
Personally, the symbolism that I wanted to convey is the lack of inclusion (that I felt at the time of writing) from the Steemit community. I'm a nobody--I'm not a celebrity in real life nor a whale that can influence trends. I'm just a guy who gets ideas from time to time. Sometimes (strong emphasis on some) I get an idea that people appreciate, while most of the time, a lot of ideas go unnoticed. It's been pretty rough.
I didn't want to portray Steemit as this sort of black hole, far from it. The way I look at it is that it's still trying to find its footing, and somewhat alien to most people still. People still don't know what Steemit could become. Some are intimidated, while others are at awe of its potential. It's very, dare I say, addicting, and a lot of people are gravitated towards it.
It's a burgeoning community, but on the flip side, I feel I'm on the outs a lot times. Like the man, I climb up trees and make an effort to try and fit in, and I'm glad at the reception this post has been getting so far. Gives me hope about my future in Steemit.
wow upvoted and following you now !
i set that first picture as background of my desktop.
keep them coming !
Awesome! I'm glad even a photo I used had an impact beyond the post. I hope you get a chance to read all the other great entries in #descriptionsonthespot :D
More power to you, man!
Really enjoyed this read! I may do my take on that word I picked or I may just do another word. Thanks for this share I liked:) Following you now, cheers!
I followed you back in anticipation of your future posts. I'm glad you liked it! Personally, I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but I wanted to push it out quickly with the best quality I can muster. I'm just relieved that you like it enough to comment here.
I can hear the writers voice in my head when I read this ( or at least what I imagine you would sound like) that is always a sign of good writing for me, when I become immersed in it.
I imagine I sound like Bryan Cranston whenever I tell stories, so I hope that's how I sounded to you. Thank you for taking the time to vote and comment! It's very much appreciated. I know people could've done a lot of other things with their minute and I appreciate it whenever it was used to vote and comment on my work. It's hard to get notice on Steemit nowadays, and I'm glad that a few people still appreciate what I have to say. If you want an in-depth explanation of what was going through my head while I was writing this, feel free to check out my reply to @randomli here in the comments section.
;-)
Right you are, man. Thanks for the continuing encouragement. I really appreciate it!
This is really nicely done. I like the ending in particular, which has a nice ambiguity to it - you could read it as hopeful or sinister, depending on your mood. I'll look forward to reading more of your work.
Hey @sunjata, thanks for the words. I really tried living up to the word "ESOTERIC". I'm glad that you interpreted it that way, because that was my intention. I wanted to make it ambiguous for the reader because by definition, that's how "ESOTERIC" is. Instead of making something esoteric as the subject of the story, I wanted to take it a step further and make the whole story the one that's revolving around the word.
Its payout is still 24 days from now, as of writing, but the big reward is still yet to be paid in case you wanted to get in on the action ;)