RE: You are exactly where you are supposed to be
I had a relationship counselor once that I didn't think was very wise or helpful, but she said one thing which I realized was the whole reason we had gone to her for a month and paid all that $: In response to me saying how I had done all of this work for my SO, put all my energy into his dreams she said basically to remember that everything I did for him I did for myself because I wanted the kind of partner he could only be if these changes happened for him. I have been pretty aware that I bring people and situations into my life by choice for a while now (though we forget, of course), but I never realized so clearly that a lot of the things I did for others I did for myself - sort of that argument against altruism. The struggle I went through to heal others maybe because I can't bear to be around unhappy people. So interesting to keep looking at your life and saying "why am I doing this?"
You are right, and that kind of brings up the whole argument of "But then isn't everything selfish?" and I'd say not really because if you can see how connected we are, you realized that when you truly benefit yourself (and not simply in an egoic way, with love rather than fear, and with a belief in abundance rather than lack) you will be most capable of benefiting others as well and helping them along the way in ways you don't even realize at the time. Telling someone how you really feel, for example, will give them an opportunity to face their own truths.
I had just heard something like this when I was listening to Abraham Hicks yesterday. :-D
Love love love her !