Damn I know what you feel mate - stay strong @schattenjaeger and let us know if we can help! These words might not do at all but talk to others as you do now, I lost my dad last year as of this shit cancer - it will kill a lot more - the smoking is what i also did and do and i know how shitty it is. Spend time with her, go home is what i would say, but not the easiest too. Hard to read about your girlfriend, that is a tough one too. Hit me on chat if i can do anything mate!

With my dad it was faster as we all thought and at least i could spend some quality time with him, had some great conversations about life etc - we liv far away and unfortunately i was not there when it happened - no one was.