Saying Goodbye

On Tuesdays morning, my sister in law Liz passed away. Some quick back story on Liz. She’s been in my life for around 27-28 years. She was my sister Marcia’s best friend. The two were thick as thieves and got into all sorts of trouble together. Liz didn’t care what you thought. She was silly, funny, vibrant, and beautiful. Growing up, she was basically a sister to me...even in my crybaby years when I used to rat them all out for drinking in the garage. She was always good to me.

My brother Pat always said throughout high school that he was going to marry Liz. Strangely enough, although he is not the most reliable human in the world...he stuck to his guns on that and the 2 were wed in November of 2007. Together they had a son, Henry who is the sweetest 13 year old kid around.

Fast forward to last night while I was at the wake. I was watching my brother in a constant fog and daze which is to be expected. He keeps crying. Wiping it away. Conversing for a few with people coming to pay respects, kneeling next to his wife in a casket, and then plopping himself on the chair to stare at the photo slide show. Over and over for several hours. Henry seemed “ok”. I don’t think it’s hit him fully yet. It did break me a bit to see him keep going up to see his mom and laying his head on her. I don’t know what he was saying but it was tough to watch as it happened a few times.

I feel bad because I hadn’t shed a tear for Liz up until last night. It’s not that I wasn’t sad or didn’t love her because both of those things were and are present in me. I just don’t think it hit me until last night. I went up to say goodbye and pay my respects and I suddenly lost it. I held her hand and my eyes turned into faucets. I don’t even remember what I said but in that few minutes, I was inconsolable. It finally hit me that she was gone.

Now in recent years, Liz had a plethora of health problems. Life wasn’t the easiest and I hate to say the ol’ cliche but here it goes...at least she’s not suffering anymore. I hate that thought process but there is a hint of truth to it. Instead of thinking of her as sick though, I’m going to think of her the way I knew her best. That fun loving girl that was always there. She practically lived with us. She was my sister Marcia’s sidekick and my brother’s partner. She was basically another sister to me growing up. That’s how I’m going to choose to remember her.

I told ya my sister and her...thick as thieves...

I have to get ready for the funeral now. I couldn’t sleep and figured I’d try to write to clear my head a bit. Sorry if this was all over the place and kinda a messy post. I hope my brother can find the strength to get through this. That my nephew will be ok. I hope those close with her can find peace.

Rest well Lizzy. Love ya.