hugs My friend... we do not know each other but I absolutely know the pain. I, too, have a difficult relationship with my mother. Not so much because of hard feelings but because she is a very difficult person to be around. She left my dad to live on her own in our country because she could not adapt to London life. Later on they divorced and I chose to continue living in London.

This separation drove us apart and every conversation we have ends up in an argument because of her constant lack of faith in me, as well as guilt twisting.

Despite all of that I love my mother and would never want to lose her, since she raised me and it is largely because of her that I am who I am today, due to the good examples and the bad.

Please, do not break down. Death comes to all. I lost my grandmother from cancer in September 2 years ago. It was a very difficult period in which she lived with us for a while before she wanted to go back to our country. I think she knew she was going away.

I guess... I just want to say that you are not alone in this position. And your grief is natural. Grieve for your loss, do not resist it. Allow yourself to feel her absence and immerse yourself in the experience. Only then can you get through it and grow.

I'll resteem, and remember - you are not alone. <3