I'm a happily married woman. My husband and I have talked a fair amount about this issue, how it's almost like if you're a guy, you're automatically some kind of sinister potential rapist or something. I agree with you that it's not right. Back in my single days I would sometimes get hit on by men. If I was interested I'd flirt back. If I was not interested, I'd still be friendly and polite, but make it clear that we'd be "friends" and that was that. I found that the men appreciated knowing early on if the woman wasn't interested, as opposed to being led on for a while and "let down slowly." I've had some drunk guys hit on me at times (in rather obnoxious ways), and one time I had a guy try to dance too close to me at a country/western dance. Since he was from a different country, I just informed him that in the US a certain comfortable distance is required for the dance to work. Yeah, it was BS, but it worked and no one had to be embarrassed about anything, and we could enjoy the dance (imagine that!).

I've never had a truly frightening situation where a guy was stalking me or threatening me in any way. I imagine if I experienced that my perspective might be different. Like I said, I've had times where I got hit on and it was kinda obnoxious, but I always felt like I could handle it and no harm done. I guess what I'm getting at is what's wrong with a guy asking, and a woman saying no? Why is it that just asking her out (or otherwise showing a romantic interest) is now wrong? As a married woman, if a guy hit on me, I'd just show him my ring and smile and say "taken" and that would be that, but I wouldn't hold it against him. I'd probably be flattered, actually.