Is Her Father a Schmoe?

The seemingly wonderful lady you've been "doing" now wants you to meet her parents. No problem, right? Well, young... young hearts... take head!

Let me break it to the gentlemen: Imagine you a have a daughter who's been asked out to the movies by her new dorky boy pal you've never met and know absolutely nothing about. (for this scenario, let me say your wife has a well-timed case of strep throat and cannot speak - so, no assisstance or interference from her) As a caring father, you tell your darling daughter, you would like to meet him.

Faced with the idea of meeting Dad-e-o, be sure and have fresh batteries in your Schmoe meter. What's a Schmoe meter? Good thing you asked, cuz it ust may save your ass. Remember, an interview is a two-way street - and turning on your schmore meter will keep you grounded in reality and help prevent you from missing schmoe signs.

So, how will you know the Schmoe? For starters, does he seem distant, or more nervous than you? Does he laugh a nervous laugh? Is he too preoccupied doing something no man would ever normally do, like, ahh shaving in the middle of the day... Does he seem a bit too self-absorbed, and non-interactive? Does he ask you to oin him at another away from his wife? (fyi good sign).

What about is education? - is he a high school drop out? - If hee did drop out, did he go back to school later on? And if he did drop out, why? Was it because he knocked up the his now wife, causing them to get married? In getting married, did they elope - in effect dodging her parent's, "no way are you marrying that schmoe" advice?

Can you and he really communicate? What are the odds this guy will ever have your back, or is he always "on himself"? Does he get off on things, people and places only in his world, of which you know zero?

How old is he compared to the wife? Younger? Hmmm. youngers, knocked her up, drop out... DANGER! - your meter should be glowing red, cuz, you're looking at the poster boy for the Ass-Hole Tri-Fecta! It won't matter how good her thing is, because the other 99% of time will be difficult so say the least - unless you too are a drop out, (hey, no offence).

IRemember your option is always open to say you forgot something in the car, and run!

Remember he reflects on his daughter. She grew up with this guy. And if she thinks he's just wonderful. then she's going to look to you to mirror his imgae. So, does this show any caring for his daughter? Does she care about him? If she doesn't and he's ust a place holder, then she not be well equiped to give a fuck about you, Charlie.

Please understand, dear man, the Schmoe will always be right and you will always be wrong - even though he's a Schmoe - you'll never win. Never, flippin' ever. It may take years, but you will die a death of a thousands Schmoe cuts and bleed to death in Schmoe fashion for every one of your thousands of well-meaning, non-Schmoe attempts to get his daughter to be truly "with" you - but, it ain't gonna happen if you ain't a schmoe, too.

Schmoes are not team players, so neither is she. Oh, she may stay with you as long as you're shoveling money in the front door as fast as she's shoveling it out the back door, but she will never, ever truly be WITH you schmoe or not.

What I want to leave you with is this, Bubba: Size him up more than he's sizing you up. Ask yourself: Is he ignorant? Take notice! Especially if you are polite and like to bestow compliments, remember schmoe daughters may not receive compliments well; they've not been well conditioned to accept them. If that be the case, she may not know what to do with the sincere love and protection you send her way, because her Schmoe father taught her the meaning of schmoe UNlove long ago.