For Shy Guys - What to Say on a Date

Years ago I coached shy guys on how to be more confident on dates. The one thing that kept coming up is that they did not know what to talk about on a date. Here are a few tips that I gave that really seemed to help.

1. Come up with topics of conversation ahead of time.
   Here are some easy topics that most people can talk about:

• popular shows
• movies that you have just seen or want to see
• things that are going on in the news ( right now the summer olympics might be a good topic)
• your family, her family
• your education
• what you do for a living
• places that you have traveled or would like to travel

Write these topics down on a couple of notecards and keep them in your pocket

1. Women love men who listen. Ask her about herself and then actually listen to what she has to say.

Ask follow up questions and then let her answer them.

Ex. She comes from a big Italian family.
Question: what was that like?
Question: I am guessing you were really close?

Ex. She tells you she is a computer programmer.
Question: How did you get into that?
Question: Did you always know that that was what you want to do?

1. Talk about the food.
   If you take her out to dinner, pretty much everyone will have something to say about the food.
   Is it good?
   Is it horrible?
   Have you been there before?

2. Compliment her.
   As soon as you see her, tell her how great she looks. Be specific and brief.
   "Wow, that dress looks great on you."
   "That color really brings out your eyes."

3. If you get stuck during the date, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. This is a perfectly normal thing to do and it gives you 5 minutes to get yourself together, calm down and look at the note cards that I suggested in step 1.

This is easier than you think. Just ask questions that keep her talking and then listen. If she asks you a question, just answer it.