I thought you created a dark, grey atmosphere; little being said, one character snoring (or dead) and the others saying little, mostly thinking except for an unceremonial action like poking at something - it really took me back to an action by one of the characters in As I lay Dying - perhaps it was Darl.. ?. Definitely a poem with existential tensions, we're left 'waiting' for an answer to arrive or to be arrived at.

Sorry I didn't see your comment until today.. hope you have a great weekend.